Little Nymph
by toonmili
Summary: Nymphadora Tonks sees herself as a well accomplished witch, which is why she is annoyed when her new boss, Severus Snape insist on treating like she is still one of his students. Snape x Tonks
1. The Housing

TITLE: Little Nymph.

Summary: Tonks sees herself as a grown accomplished wizard but Severus Snape insist on treating her like she is still one of his students. How can she make him see her for who is.

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.

Tonks hated her life, it was a constant disaster. Even though she had been an auror for more than five years and fought against Voldemort on the front lines, she had been confined to desk work. Even though she got a new salary that her boss said better reflected her experience she couldn't help but be annoyed by it. The chief source of her annoyance was that her new boss, however noble his intentions, believed she was little girl who needed to be babied. His reasons for confiding her to desk duties were so silly that she sniffed out the real reason the moment it left his lips.

"You are in such a delicate condition, I'm afraid I can't risk you falling to pieces on such a dangerous mission."

Of course he was referring to the fact that he boyfriend had been killed while fighting against Voldemort. It had been two years and she couldn't see why this would be a logical reason to house her, which is what Aurors referred to desk duty as. She tried to plead with him. "I am certain I can handle it, I don't think Remus would have wanted me to be afraid to live my life."

"Well he certainly would not have wanted you to risk his sacrifice by going out in the field in such an emotional state, you're still having problems metamorphing." As much as she hated to admit it, he had a point, the only thing she could successfully change was her nose, and she hadn't been able to change her hair colour for years. It was stuck in a permanent bubblegum pink. "So put it out of your head little nymph, when you are ready I will consider it." He then dismissed her form his office and sent to sulk at her desk, which was located right outside his office.

She hated him, he taught her almost ten years ago and he still treated her like a child he had to supervise. She was a woman and he needed to know that. She thought that her relationship with Remus Lupin would have alerted him to the fact but instead he only expressed his disappointment that she would fall for someone even weaker than herself. He never thought anything of the fact that she could make a man his age happy instead he had decided that she needed even more babying as she had dangerous ambitions and fantastical ideas.

Tonks sighed as she passed her wand over a scroll of paper she had written a rather long report on. When the spelling was corrected she looked at it and made sure it was perfect, which was all he accepted. She rolled up the scroll and marched over to his oak door and knocked three times on it. She knew from experience that she had to wait about five seconds before she attempted another knock to avoid complaints. She knocked again after a small wait and was then told to enter. She walked in and closed the door behind her. As always he was behind his desk reading another long report, similar to the one in her hand she had just 'idiot proof'. "I've finished the McNair report."

"So quickly, I hope to find no errors in this."

"Have there ever been errors?" she asked frustrated.

"No, I can't say that there has. You see, your initial reservations about this job were unfounded."

"My reservations were not based on my ability to spot errors in a report; it had to do with the fact that you have made me a glorified secretary with a comfy cushion of cash that is largely undeserved."

He sneered form behind the paper. "If it is your salary that hurts your pride I will be more than happy to cut it half and add the balance to my loot."

"I never said I didn't want my salary, I would just like to earn it."

"And you are." He sighed in frustration and placed the scroll on the desk. "If you don't assist me in these matters I fear I would have no patience for the job. Put it out of your mind little nymph, why don't you go shopping, buy yourself a sun dress with that well earned salary."

She looked at him; she had an uncontrollable urge to throw something at him. The day that Minister of Magic decided to give Severus Snape an honorary position as head of Auror and Security Department was the worst day of her life. She had went from being a top recommended Auror for field work to not being trusted with the simplest of tasks, eventually he decided that her skills would be best served in the office. No doubt that her housing was a bit of a laugh for all her former colleagues.

She walked out the room and made a point to slam the door shot in his face as she was leaving. She went back to her desk and picked up another report that had landed on her desk in the short time she had been in his office. All these reports seemed to come in three lengths, there was long, longer and longest and they were all boring.

She could have been in the field taking down some Lord Voldermort wanna be but instead she was in house reading about all the accomplishments Aurors with less skills than herself had achieved. It ached her even more that the Aurors never had a higher approval rating. Snape, despite being an old fashion dictator was actually very good at his job and his scare tactics were very effective. Grown men had come out of his office in tears. Those moments were the only source of joy she had because she had known first hand what he was capable of doing.

A lot of people didn't know that Severus Snape was not always as brutal as he was, when he first started to teach Hogwarts he was a bit of a pushover. She was one of the students who took full advantage of this and always caused a raucous in his class just because she could and she knew he would do nothing about it. Back in those days he would come to class write some instructions on the board and sit behind his desk and sulk, looking like the world was over. She had always wondered what tragedy could have happened to cause one young man to look so hopeless but she never let that bother her, instead she choose to play the class clown by entertaining the class with impersonations, some were of him of course. She had done this on countless occasions but for some unknown reason, one day he decided that he had quite enough. She had again not managed to make an almost decent potion and when he walked by the cauldron two hours after the class had began he looked at her in frustration.

Flashback.

"Do it over," he said.

The green haired witch looked at him and amazement and a giggle escaped her lips. "Sir, please tell me you're joking." The whole class laughed along with her. But form the look on his face she could tell that he wasn't joking.

"Everyone else can leave, Miss Tonks will brew this potion again."

"But sir this can take almost two hours."

"Then you should have thought about that before you decided to play your silly little game in my class, everyone leave, and Miss Tonks start your potion." He walked back to his seat and wand back on the table and sat behind the desk with arms folded. Everyone started to leave flashing confused glances in her direction.

She was so angry that she could feel the blood in her veins boiling. It was a Friday and she was forced to spend another two hours in the dungeons brewing a stupid forgetfulness potion. She was so angry that she found herself dumping ingredients in cauldron instead of pouring and placing gently. She decided that just to spite him she would finish the potion as quickly as possible and not say a word to him.

An hour later she presented a vile to him. He looked at it and closed his eyes and let out a heavy sigh of frustration. "Miss Tonks kindly read from the bored the bored colour this potion is supposed to hold when successfully brewed."

She didn't even bother to look at the board. "Lavender."

"And what colour is this mess you just handed me?"

"It looks Lavender to me..."

"IT IS GREY MISS TONKS, GREY. YOU WILL BREW IT AGAIN."

She went back to her desk slamming ingredients all over the place. She hated the little bustard. He wasn't much older than her, who gave him the right to boss her around like that. She brewed the potion even more quickly. She walked up to him and presented a Lavender colour potion to him. He didn't even look at it. "Adding a colouring to it will not make it anymore useful, you will brew it again."

And again she brewed it and again she presented it to him and again he looked at it and told her to brew it again.

By her fifth try she could feel herself getting wozzy and hungry but he didn't seem bothered by this, he just sat there staring into space, looking at nothing in particular. She wasn't sure when she started to cry but once it started she couldn't stop. She wanted to stop because she had a feeling like that was what he wanted, to humiliate her like she had done to him but she couldn't help it, she felt sick and tired. She walked up the desk with the vile and handed him a potion. Her hands were shaking so much that it almost fell as it went from her hands to his.

He looked down at it and examined the texture. "It is still wrong; you have mishandled at least a dozen ingredients, you will brew it again."

"Please sir can't I try tomorrow?"

"No you will not leave this dungeon until you brew this potion successfully."

She broke down in heavy sobs but this seemed to have no effect on him. He waved her back to the table. "Don't get any tears in the cauldron because it will render the potion useless," he added as she started to prepare the ingredients a yet again.

After a while she had stopped presenting potions that she knew were imperfect. If she made a mistake she started over, if tears fell in the cauldron she started over. She had started over so may times that it was well after nine o clock in the night and she still didn't get it right. When she heard the bell toll she looked up and saw the time and she realised that she might be there until the next day. She started to cry even more loudly, not because she thought it would have any effect on him but because she knew that it was hopeless and she would never brew the potion correctly.

She had just managed to get another gush of tears in her cauldron when he slammed an open book on her table. She looked down at it and back to him.

"Follow the instructions form this book," he said and walked back to his desk where he was now marking essays.

She looked down at the book that was defaced with small cramped writing. She began to do as he instructed, she followed the directions. But she still managed to get some tears in the cauldron. She wiped her tears away and made an effort to keep her face as far away form cauldron as possible. On her second attempt using the book he handed her she was successful. She was so relieved. She put the vile on his table and handed the book back to him.

"Can I leave now sir?" she asked.

"You may leave," he said quietly. " But be warned; the next time you cause a raucous in my class to hide the fact the you can't brew a potion to save your life I will not go so easy on you. You're dismissed."

END FLASHBACK

She left his dungeons exactly ten minutes to eleven that night. She made a point of telling everyone about how cruel he was and even complained to Professor Sprout. After that incident everyone was well behaved in his class as his punishment had become a legend of sorts. She was convinced that she hated him for almost a year. She only changed her mind about him when she looked down at her Potions paper during the OWLS and saw the potion they were required to brew. They had three options and among them was a forgetfulness potion. She smiled so widely that the examiner felt the need to examine her to make sure she hadn't sneaked any notes in the examination room.

She brewed the perfect forgetfulness potion and by the end of the exam she was certain that she got an Outstanding in Potions. After the examination she was so drunk with happiness that she actually sent her Potions Professor a thank you note that was followed by an apology. The following term she was accepted into his NEWT. After career advice when she expressed a desire to become and Aruor he even showed more tolerance for her inability and clumsiness and gave her notes to follow so she might be bale to pass her NEWT potions. She was absolutely certain that her apology had made her a favourite of the now notorious potions teacher.

Tonks sighed at realisation that he was mostly responsible for her being Auror, there was no was she could have gotten to move on to NEWT potions if he wasn't as horrible to her that day and subsequently kind to her during the NEWT years. A small smile crept upon her face because she had just remembered the secret she had harboured for years following the potion incident, she was had a hopeless crush on Professor Snape.

NOTE: This is my first Snape and Tonks fanfiction. So please give me some reviews.

Expect an update, maybe Wednesday. I usually update on Wednesdays and Mondays.


	2. The Supension

EXPLANATION: Okay I decided that I will give an explanation of how Voldemort was conquered the way I wrote it.

When Voldemort was about to kill Harry Snape immediately placed himself in front of Harry. He told Voldemort that if he wished to kill Harry he would have to kill him first. Voldemort learnt from his mistake. He choose not to kill Snape because if he did it would give Harry the same protection Lily gave Harry and if he tried to kill Harry after he would die because he had no more Horcruxes. At this point they use the mirror of Erasid to trap him, the same way the stone was in the mirror. Then the mirror was broken into seven pieces. Each has a piece of Voldemort. Seven guardians were appointed to guard the pieces. The only way the he can return is if the seven pieces are brought together and repaired and someone with a pure reason wished him back then he will be able to get out. The problem is that Bellatrix could bring him back if she gets all the pieces because she has a pure reason, she's in love with Voldemort.

I hope this is not confusing to you.

So here is where we pick up.

PART TWO: Suspension

One of the more annoying results of having Severus Snape as a boss was the fan club that came along with him. Since the fall of Voldemort and his part in the battle he had obtained something that resembled a celebrity status. This had annoyed her greatly because she was certain that all the people who claimed to be his biggest fan and ardent admirers would not have thought he was worth the gum under their shoe three years ago. But yet they were now his biggest fans. She was forced to open one ridiculous letter after another. Among them were countless hero worship letters and marriage proposals with pictures attached. Tonks had noted how silly they all were because for some strange reason everywoman who sent him a picture had red hair and green eyes. No doubt they were trying to play on his affection for Lily Evans which was revealed during his testimony. It was really stupid as she was certain that Severus was not the kind of man who would think the one true love of his life could be replaced by some cheap imitation. In fact he hated red heads, one time she changed her hair red and his fury was unbelievable, it was the one time in the two years he had been angry with her. There was only one person he had ever dated to her knowledge and she was a muggle and she was blond. It ended quickly because she was too detached from his own world.

She often wondered what kind of woman would suit his fancy. He had jokingly told her that he would never date another witch because he was tired of people kissing his ass whole day and he wanted a challenge. But yet if he found such a challenge in a muggle he would be forced to end it due to their differences in personalities.

Tonks sighed at the realization that her mind was lingering on Severus Snape's love life. Being his assistant was getting to her. She hated that he didn't think she was capable to do field work. She let out a whimper and buried her head in her hands. "I can't take this anymore."

"You can't take what anymore?"

Tonks looked up to see a familiar face that matched a familiar voice. "Harry."

"Hey Tonks, how are things?"

She sighed. "Dreadful. As you can see I'm still being housed."

He got a sympathetic look on his face. "Don't worry about it, I'm sure he'll let you go soon."

"Yeah right." She sighed picking up her quill to start rewriting a poorly written report that had landed on her desk.

"Is he in?"

She shook her head. "He's on lunch, won't be back for another hour. Will you be waiting?"

"I suppose I could, I have something important to speak to him about."

She sighed and rolled her eyes. "I'm sure it's important Auror business that I will know nothing about."

"Oh come off it, you're still an Auror, you're just in the house for a while."

She wished she could be as hopeful as Harry. Even though Snape hated Harry at school he still gave him a great deal of responsibility and he was only twenty. She couldn't understand why he would treat her this way. It was vey frustrating. "Can't you tell me what it is? I do miss hearing about all these goons."

Harry looked reluctantly at her "I suppose it can't hurt." He took a seat on the chair opposite Tonks and leaned in and whispered. "We found Bellatrix."

"NO..." she said in a gasp.

"Yes we have, she's in a house in Little Whinning, she been there for a while. We're tracking her." Harry looked so excited that he could hardly erase the smile that was plastered on his face. Bellatrix had been the main cause of all the troubles that the Aurors were facing; she had been trying to reform a group of supporters loyal to Voldemort for a long time. "She still has piece of the seven, she feels she can free him."

"She knows she can't free him without all seven pieces. I can't imagine her getting Severus'."

"Or mine for that matter."

"Well Rufus Scrimgeour always thought he was more powerful than he actually was, I wasn't shocked when she killed him and got his piece of seven so easily."

The way Voldemort was defeated was so complicated that it puzzled most. Once all his horcruxes had been this destroyed and they had him cornered they used The Mirror of Erised trap him, then it was broken into seven pieces. There were seven holders of the mirror. Severus, Harry, Regulas Black, Aberfort, Allostor Moody, Lucius Malfoy, simply because he had the most to loose if Voldemort returned and then there was the piece that was given to the Minister Of Magic.

Tonks never really knew how Harry and Snape had managed to get Voldemort cornered. They both had stated that they would never be able to beat him in a duel so she was confused how they managed to get him to surrender. This was something Harry and Snape shared with no one. They had just emerged from that battle with seven pieces of a broken mirror. It was a plan that had been devised by Dumbledore before his death was elaborately planned. All the time when the Order thought that Severus Snape had been an evil murderer she had secretly hoped that it wasn't the truth. She wasn't surprised when it was revealed that he had been on their side all along.

"I think that piece has always been in jeopardy, from the moment the ministry decided that they needed to feel important so they needed a piece. I personally hope that Fudge refuses it. I hope Professor Snape holds this one as well," Harry said.

"Well Octavius Fudge is just like his brother, he's a bloody coward. I'm certain he'll let Severus hold this one too."

"I can't wait until it's over and we have back our seven pieces. I will sleep easier at night."

"So when are you guys moving in?"

He shrugged. "He'd want to move in as soon as possible, she doesn't know that we know where she is so he should do it in a hurry."

"Does he mean to get it himself?"

Harry nodded. "Yes and rightfully so, he knows all her ticks best. But I think he means to kill her as well."

She sighed. Severus had expressed his lack of faith in Azkaban before, it was when she escaped for the second time he said that he would finish her for good. "I don't think he should do it. There must be someway to hold her."

"I know but he doesn't see it that way."

Tonks sat thinking to herself. If only there was a way she could stop him killing Bellatrix, show him that she could be held by another wizard, she could save him. She could stop Bellatrix and get the piece and have her arrested without him having to do the deed. She was very skilful Auror and it was about time her skills were put to the test. She was certain she could handle crazy old Bellatrix, after all she did defeat her the last time they fought. If and when she got the piece of seven from Bellatrix and presented it to him, she was certain he would take her more seriously, she was certain he would put her in the field.

"Ah... I'm a bit hungry; I think I'll go for some lunch. Do you mind if I abandon you.

He looked confused at this as she was the one who had invited him to sit. "Ah...sure," he said.

Tonks took up her wand form the table and stuck it in her back pocket and walked out, leaving Harry in the room all alone.

-o-o-

Harry sat there by himself for about twenty minutes wondering when Tonks would back. He was getting so bored that had actually decided to finish the report that Tonks had started.

"Potter," Snape said as he entered the room. "What are you doing here?"

Harry got up from the seat. "Ah it's Bellatrix sir, she's been sited in Little Whining." Harry saw a flash of excitement in his eyes that was quickly replaced with a concerned look.

"Very well, I will attend to it. Where's Nymphadora I want her to alert the Minister that I will be presenting him with his piece by the afternoon so he can make preparations."

"She went out to lunch," Harry said looking at her desk.

"She had lunch before me. Is that where she said she was going." He looked over to her empty desk with a concerned look on his face.

"Yes, she said she was hungry."

"Well that doesn't make sense." He was now looking at her desk picking up things off the desk to examine it. "No note," he mumbled to himself. He spent about five minutes looking for something that wasn't there.

Harry couldn't understand why he seemed so concerned that Tonks had left her desk. Then it hit him like a ton of bricks. "Sir, I told her?"

"What" he asked looking at him.

Harry bent his head because he knew he was going to get it. "About Bellatrix, where she was and everything."

He saw Snape's face turn green at the words. "How long ago?" he asked softly.

"Half an hour."

His hands covered his mouth and he looked at Harry with a look that said 'I would deal with you later'. He disapparated on the spot. Harry felt a nervous jolt of energy bolt through his body. He couldn't believe he slipped up like that, he should have known that Tonks would have gone after Bellatrix. He could only hope that she used a very slow method of travel because if she met Bellatrix she would be killed for sure.

o-o-o

Tonks had never been so embarrassed in all her life. She had just been apparated back into the office with the help of Severus and was sitting outside while he was having a meeting with the Minister of Magic. He could hear shouting form beyond the door and a mention of firing. She had ruined everything. She could feel the lump in her throat beginning to swell but she had to fight it. She couldn't be weak like that time in class, she had to show him tha she was strong.

The door opened in a sudden bang and Octavius Fudge came barging out the door, he gave her slightest of glances and stormed out of the room slamming the door shut.

"NYMPHADORA GET IN HERE?" Severus shouted form in his office. She got up form her desk slowly and walked to his door. She had long stop being afraid of him but now she was, it was like she was back at school.

"Yes sir," she said holding her head down.

"DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH TROUBLE YOU HAVE CAUSED ME?"

She took a deep breath because she felt like she couldn't hold it anymore."Yes sir I caused you the piece of seven."

"Not only that Nymphadora, but how do you think it reflects upon me to have you go against my command and risk everything we have been working on for the past year."

She was silent, she could hear the dissapointment in his voice.

"I was told to fire you and I should since you have no appreciation of the provisions I have made for you."

She looked up at him with a reslove to remain straong and not break down like he wanted. He couldn't see that he was the reason why she went after Bellatrix because he insisted on treating her like she needed taking care of. "Sir you don't have to make provisions for me I am not a child."

"So I was wrong to take pity on you?"

"Why should I be pitied, I am very capable of taking care of myself."

He slammed his palms on the table. "Don't be silly little girl, what do you think would have happened had I not shown up in time. You fail to see the truth so I must be the cruel one to break it to you."

She looked at his face for the first time. He was white with rage. She hated him again, she wanted him to know how angry and frustrated she was. "I was a very capable Auror before and I still am."

"No Miss Tonks you are no more useful to us than a Muggle. You haven't been able to use your powers for more than two years. You would have been dead in seconds."

What was he talking about, she was having problems with changing but she could still use her wand. She still had powers. Why was he saying these horrible things to her? "You're wrong," she said behind heavy breaths. "I can still change my nose."

"You cannot, you seem to think you can but you cannot, You have been in denial, you even tried to hide the fact that you are powerless by getting Molly to change your hair pink. I have known this secret about you all along and I chose to ignore it."

"So what I'm having trouble changing, I can still do other magic."

"Then you have your wand, use it."

She took out her wand in a flourish and shouted. "Stupify."

Severus stood there looking enraged.

She tired again. "stupefy." And again nothing happened . She tried different spell but nothing happened. She couldn't understand what was wrong , there must have been something wrong in the wand. She looked at him in confusion. His face had turned form one of rage to one of pity. He walked slowly over to her and took the wand out of her hands. She finally understood, why he ddin't put her in the field, she was useless. The tears that had been fighting to escape finally succeded. They were flowing down her cheeks. "I don't understand," she said looking at him. He held her shoulders and pulled her close and for a moment. She had never been hugged roughly before. But even though it was a rough hug she still appriciated it and she didn't want it to end, she needed comforting and she guessed that was his way. But it did end, almost as quickly as it began.

"Because of what you have done I can't keep you anymore. I can only hope you saved enough of that salary you complained about."

He released her and walked back to his desk. She now saw that it was out of the goodness of his heart that he had allowed her to work for him. Her tears would not leave her. "Please sir, can't I have another chance. I promise I won't leave the office ever again and I will never complain again."

"It is too late," he said angrily. "The minister has spoken, you are suspended until further notice."

"Please no..." Even though she hated the idea of being housed she hated the idea of not working at all even more. "Is there any way?"

"Do you think he will allow me to keep someone who is less qualified when there are dozens of better qualified and capable people who want the job? You have divulged your own secret. Please leave my office, pack your things and go home.

She looked at him for moment hoping that he would change his mind but he wasn't even looking at her. She turned around and ran out his office and headed for her desk. She packed everything so quickly that she must have forgotten something. She left her office and walked into another great office where all the regular Aurors where. They were looking at her and whispering. She passed Harry who was avoiding eye contact. She had never been more humiliated in her entire life. But what bugged her most of all was that she had disappointed Severus so much and ruined his opinion of her.

NOTE: I know you guys don't like it when she cries but have you ever been so ashamed that you couldn't help but cry.

Okay I said I would update on Wednesday and I did, so come on guys leave me a review. I like reviews. I think like at least four should be nice.


	3. Remembering

PART III: Remembering.

Nymphadora Tonks stood up looking at her reflection in the mirror. Her hair was a dull shade of pink, her eyes were puffy and red and nose seemed to match it perfectly. It was safe to say that she was in a mess. She had been home for two weeks and it had been two weeks of absolute agony. She didn't even know how she managed to convince herself that she could do magic or when it even started. When Severus told her that she hadn't been able to do magic for a while a bunch of memories that she had tried to desperately to cast aside came rushing back at her.

She rose up the gray jumper she was wearing and examined her stomach. It looked just like it did three years ago except for the three vertical lines that were cut diagonally across her skin. The one in centre, which was also the deepest red, was cut right across her belly button. She let her hands pass over them softly. Even though it had been two years since it happened, it was still tender and still had the look like it would bleed out if the slightest bit of force was placed on it. Even though she looked in the mirror everyday, she hadn't seen that scar in years, she tried to act like it wasn't there and after a while, it disappeared in her head, she could no longer see it. But here is was again, looking almost as bad as it did the day she got it.

She pulled back down the jumper and went back to her bed. She curled up under the sheets and closed her eyes. She hadn't been able to sleep. All the memories that she was blocking out for so long were coming back at her, strong and vivid as if seeking revenge for being neglected. Some of them were horrible memories, some of them were good but all of them evoked the same emotion, sorrow.

FLASH BACK

Tonks sat in an empty room looking at her watch. It was well after midnight, Remus said he would be there by nine. A familiar shot of fear seized her body. What if he had been discovered? What if Greyback knew he was a spy? She squinted at the thought because it was too horrible to think of. No, he had to be on his way. It would be a short time before he was with her.

She lay on the bed knocking her feet together and examining the watch that once belonged to her father. She stayed like this for two hours and with each second that went by a little voice in her head would scream in panic. Her breathing had become heavy, her throat had tightened and her eyes were burning. "Where are you Remus?" she said to herself.

CRACK

The loud crack was the best sound she had heard in ages. And just like that all her emothions of fear, doubt and sadness had converted to relieve and happiness.

"Sorry I'm late," he said, turning around to see her face tear stricken. "I told you there would be times like these."

She wiped her tears suddenly feeling ridiculous for crying in the first place. "You're five hours late Remus, what kept you."

He took of his travelling cloak and rest in on a chair. "Greyback seems to think there is a traitor in our mist."

She shrieked. "Oh no, does he suspect you."

He shook his head and began to undo his shirt that was tattered. "No, hardly. He suspected Rovine because he has been expressing doubts about certain plans and openly opposing Greayback." He took off his shoes and tossed them aside.

"Thanks heavens," she said. "You were really lucky there."

He joined her in the bed and under the covers, she immediately wrapped her arms around him. He sighed. "Well Rovine wasn't so lucky, he's dead."

She looked at him in shock. "He killed him?"

He looked away form her. "Yes and I was forced to look on and do nothing."

"I'm sorry," she said letting her hand past over his bare chest. There were numerous scratches over his body, his chest was no exception. "I wish you didn't have to do this."

"But I do, don't I?"

She hated it. It wasn't fair that he should have to put himself in danger and be in the presence of a man he had feared since his childhood. She couldn't wait until the war was over and he could be with her without having to worry about Greyback seeing them together. Greyback had demanded that all the werewolves in his pack reveal their human forms and he was forced to comply. She was the only member of the order he was in contact with and it was only after begging and crying on her part. They would only meet about once a month to spend the night together. She wished that it could have been more, she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him, taking care of him, making him happy, listening to his adventures and misadventures of his youth. She loved him .

He looked down at her. "What are you thinking about, when ever your thinking it's always something dangerous."

She smiled at him. " I was thinking that we should get married."

He was silent for a while but she knew it wasn't because he didn't want to: it had to do with him always being surprised by her affection for him. "I suppose we could, once it's all over, granted I have no money and you will be a poor bride.

She laughed, he would always remind her of all the things that was wrong with him but she didn't care. "I don't care I want to marry you."

"Okay," she said softly and took her hand and kissed it.

"I don't think you understand. I want to marry you now."

"Now," he asked letting a light laugh leave his lips.

"Yes tonight."

He laughed out loud. "You're crazy."

"I know and that's why you love me."

He reached down to her and kissed her softly on her lips.

END FLASH BACK

She passed her hand over her ring finger, there was nothing there. No, she had long taken it off. It was in a box at the bottom of her underwear drawer. That night, with a ring that cost five nuts, they were married by a complete stranger on the streets. It was the happiest day of her life and from the look in his eyes she could tell he felt the same way. Their honeymoon was a trip back to the leaky cauldron where they had a glass of elf-made wine and spent the rest of the night in each others arms.

They told no one, for almost a month it was their little secret.

-o-o-o-

"I think Snape is right old prat for suspending her." Ginny said.

"Ginny don't talk about your Professor like that," corrected Mrs. Weasley.

"Ginny she's actually sort of lucky that he only suspended her. Trust me; he has fired people for much less. He actually almost fired me for telling her about Bellatrix."

"But that's not fair, she's an Auror too," complained Hermione.

Ron from next to her snorted softly. "Well except for the fact that she can't do magic anymore."

"That's not funny Ron, losing Remus was very hard on her."

The Weasleys had gathered for Sunday lunch and were discussing Tonks. Hermione, Ginny and Mrs. Weasley had been to see her the day before and they all decided that she was in a mess and inconsolable. They had invited her to spend some time at The Borrow but she declined, she seemed intent on remaining in doors for as long as possible.

"I think she needs to get back to work, to take her mind off things," Ginny said.

"Professor Snape was the only person who would have given her a job and he himself in under fire for just suspending her. People are very upset about this. They think just because Bellatrix managed to escape again that Voldemort is a day away from coming back."

"I know, did you read that article in the Daily Profit saying that Snape only offers jobs to close friends even though they are more useless that a clock with no hands." Hermione looked like it had been a personal attack on her.

"It's funny how quickly they forget who was partly responsible for catching him in the first place... all this stupid talk about him being in league with Bellatrix."

"I always knew he was innocent?" said Ron.

They all looked at him and laughed. If there was one person who would bet their life on Snape being evil it was Ron.

"So how's he taking it?" Hermione asked Harry.

Harry shrugged. "Well he said that he's not going to fire her just because of some stupid articles but you can tell he's upset about it. He's been very grumpy...well more than usual anyway. It's odd because I think he has a soft spot for her."

"Well all teachers have soft spots for their students," Molly explained.

"Well he never had a soft spot for me," complained Ron.

"Well at least the pretty ones," Harry said under his breath so no one could hear him. The rest of them did not work closely to Snape, so none of them knew just how much he would let Tonks get away with. He was certain that Snape's interest was more that just that of a former teacher. But knowing Snape he was most likely unaware that he felt that way or beating himself up for feeling that way. It made no sense for him to be brooding over Lily who was long gone when there's a lonely heart broken woman who needed comforting. Yes, he thought to himself. He would get Tonks to fall in love with Professor Snape. They would be good for each other.

"What's he going to do?" asked Mr. Weasly. "I'll tell you one thing, Fudge is not pleased."

"Oh I think he's going on leave until the whole thing calms down," Harry said

"That could take a while," said Hermione.

"Well he's taking six months, said he'll start writing his Defence Against the Dark Arts book."

-o-o-o-

Tonks was still rolled up under her covers when she heard a knock at the door. It was most likely Molly and Ginny coming to cheer her up. She appreciated their efforts but she would have preferred to be left alone. She sighed and unwrapped herself. She knew that they would know that she was home, since she was always home these days.

She crossed the bedroom and walked out to the living room and then to the door. She wiped her eyes and tried to fix her hair before answering the door.

"Good day Nymphadora."

She looked at the visitor in shock; he was the last person she was expecting to see. After she had made a disaster of things she thought that he would never speak to her again. "Hello," she said softly. She stood there looking at him in the hall way. He was dressed in a muggle shirt and tie and a black trousers, he looked quite different in those clothes compared to his wizard robes.

"Can't I come in; I need to speak to you about something important."

She snapped out of it. Of course it was terribly rude leaving her boss outside on the corridor. She opened the door to him.

Her apartment was in a mess and she knew it. Since she hadn't been able to clean it up by using magic she didn't bother to clean at all. She showed him to the living room where he took a seat and she took a seat opposite him in another chair.

"How has it been?" he asked.

She shrugged. "Horrible."

"Hmm, he said. His eyes were glancing at all corners of the room, no doubt looking at the state of the apartment. Her clothes were unfolded in another chair. Empty wine bottles were still on the coffee table, flies were attaching a bowl of fruit that had been there for more than a week.

"And how has it been for you?"

"Like wise," he said looking up at her. "Although I still mange to keep my manor tidy." He meant this as a joke but she wasn't in the mood for jokes. "I am sure you have heard that I am taking a leave."

She felt a surge of guilt. Molly told her about the troubles he was having with the press. She nodded slightly. "Yes I heard and I am sorry that I forced you into this position."

He nodded. "But all is not lost Little Nymph; this only gives me time to do something I have been longing to do since boyhood."

She couldn't venture a guess as to what it was. She had no idea what it was that Severus Snape would want to do. "What is it sir?"

He sighed. "I have always wanted to write a book in Defence Against the Dark Arts and I have never had a free day until now. Now I have six moths worth of them."

"That's brilliant sir." She said this but she was still unhappy. She couldn't be distracted by writing a book, there wasn't a single topic in the world that she knew well enough to write a book on, the only thing she was good at was being a Auror and since she couldn't do that anymore, she was forced to stay home and relive painful memories.

He shifted in his seat and then looked down at palm of his hands. "Are you quite comfortable here?"

She shrugged. "Well It's home isn't it."

His eyes bore a slight look of disappointment. "It's a shame. I would have been able to use you."

"Use me how?" she asked. The prospect of being asked to work was exciting. "If I can't do magic how can I work."

"Well you wouldn't need magic to be my assistant."

"Your assistant?"

"I know you had problems with this position earlier but it will only be for the duration of my leave."

She felt her heart leap. She wanted nothing more than to have a job, even if it was just as his assistant again. She couldn't bear to be home alone with only memories of Remus to keep her company. "I'll do it," she said.

"Not so hasty Nymph," he said. "You must know that I can only pay you half of what you earn at the office."

"I'll take it."

He held up his hands. "And I will be working around the clock."

"I'll do it," she said again.

"So you'll have to stay at my manor."

She stopped and looked at him. "At your mannor."

"Yes, I can have my house elf prepare a room for you."

She thought about? Was she prepared to live with Severus Snape for six moths? If it meant that she'd be able to work the idea didn't seem so bad. Maybe he could even help to take her mind off Remus for a while. "Sure I'll do it."

He nodded and stood up form the seat. She could see a faint trace of a smile on his lips. "Well I expect you to start Wednesday. And I should tell you that I keep a clean house so none of this..." he said pointing at the mess that was all over the room.

"Oh no sir," she said making a pledge over her heart.

He nodded and walked to the door. "Remember, Wednesday bright and Early." With that he exited the apartment leaving Tonks in a considerably better mood than she was when he first came.

NOTE: So you know what to do, leave me a review.


	4. October

Part IV: OCTOBER

Because the Ministry of Magic had almost nothing to do with Voldemort capture and fact that they probably hindered more than they helped resulted in what people call kissing ass. Of all the ass kissing they did no one's ass was kissed quite as often as Severus Snape. Besides giving him a shinny new position that reflected his ability the Ministry of Magic bestowed upon him an obscenely large manor with acres of land that once belonged to a muggle Lord. Tonks wasn't quite certain why they decided to give him this and not Harry but she guessed had to do with the fact that Harry already was the owner of three different houses while Snape's only house was "unsuitable for a man of his stature." She wasn't sure if she herself would have accepted it but Severus Snape was a man who enjoyed praise and compliments, so he took it with open arms and christened it his own with a sign on every side of the of the property that read "Keep Out."

She beginning to wish she had thought this through. What would it be like to be locked up in a big old house with Severus Snape for six months? The interior of his house reflected his personality. Everything was black or a dark green; there were no bright colors, no decorations and not a single piece of furniture that wasn't absolutely necessary.

She sat in the drawing area with her three trunks by her side and a glass of elf- made wine in her hands. The house elf that ran the manor had brought her drinks and refreshments but had refused to show her to her room or any other part of the house. Pince said that he was given orders by his master to keep her in the drawing room until he was home. If this was an indication of how he was planning on treating her then she wanted out.

She sighed and leaned against the black sofa covered in what looked like dragon skin. She had a weird feeling that this place would not be a happy place and her own apartment would have been more comfortable. She meant for him to be a distraction, so she wouldn't have to think about Remus so much but if he was going to be gone most of the time, leaving her alone in his dreary mansion then there was really no point.

She closed her eyes and leaned against the arm of the chair. She was so tired, she hadn't slept at all the night before. She kept thinking about Remus and the night they got married, it was such a good night but just like that it would interrupted by something vicious, something she wanted to forget.

CRACK

Her eyes darted open at the sound and she sat up. He was finally home.

"Nymphadora, I should tell you that we don't sleep in drawing room, that is reserved for the bedrooms." He gave off an air that said he had just returned from a rather unpleasant meeting and was frustrated, it was the same air he would have every time Octavius Fudge came to see him. "How long have you been here?"

"Three hours," she said standing up. "Your elf kept giving me wine, I was starting to feel a little groggy."

"Well just because you are offered something doesn't mean you have to take it." He looked away form her. "I shall have to restock my stores now."

She wasn't taken back by his attitude. He was more moody than a teenager and his anger was seldom directed at the person who caused it, so she took no offence.

"I suppose I should show you around." He said glancing over his shoulder, like her presence annoyed him. "Leave your things, I'll have Pince take it to your room." He began to walk and she guessed she was meant to follow him. They walked out of the drawing room into another room that was just as large and almost identical to drawing room except for several tables in the room. "This is meant to be game room; I haven't had time to change it. Muggles are very wasteful with space."

The next room he showed her was a dining room. There was a long table that could seat twelve and a few alcohol bars at the side that were empty.

He followed it by showing her the kitchen. "You have no need to be in here since Pince prepares the all the meals." He shot the door and took her to another room. This one was clearly a study. He actually waved his wand over it to unlock the door. "This is your main business here. This is my study, where I plan to pen my book. I will be spending a great deal of time here."

"If you lock it how am I supposed to get in?"

He frowned at the question and then dug in his pocket and took out a ring of keys and handed it to her. "You will find a key to almost every room in this house, don't loose them. They are the only copies I have." She took the keys and looked down at it. There were about twenty keys on the ring.

"I think that should do, there's nothing else of interest in this house. If I need you get anything in the library, it's upstairs."

"Upstairs where?" she asked.

"It is the upstairs. The whole of upstairs is my library."

She nodded even though there was slight confusion; she couldn't understand how many books he actually had that he needed to have an entire floor for a library. "That's a lot of books."

"Yes," he said simply. He started to walk off and she followed him. He stopped. "Didn't I say that would do, why are you still following me?"

Her cheeks glowed slightly red. "I haven't seen my room yet?"

He sighed. "Ask the elf."

-o-o-o-

Nymphadora wanted to go home. She hated being in his house, he was in a foul mood all the time. She had spent the first week organizing all his books according to topic and alphabetical order. There were thousands of books. Some were so old that they were housing some of the very things that they spoke about. She had been bitten in every place possible by some nasty creatures and they were leaving marks all over her skin. She had to ask Snape for something for the marks and he only made her an ointment after hours of complaining that she was too careless.

He had given her a week to finish organizing his library and she managed to finish it in four days with the help of his house elf. She wondered why he didn't have the elf do it in the first place; she didn't know that he was going to basically make her a servant.

She twisted and turned between the sheets and the mound of pillows. She still couldn't sleep at all, if it wasn't because of her dreams that were still plaguing her, it was because she was always feeling cold. No matter how many blankets she wrapped around herself she would always feel very cold, especially at nights.

The morning came and she still hadn't slept a wink.

-o-

Tonks sat in the kitchen looking at the house elf prepare lunch, which she was certain she wouldn't be able to eat since she lost her appetite about a two weeks ago. She sighed and closed hey eyes.

FLASHBACK

"NO Tonks Run," Remus shouted

END FLASH BACK

She opened her eyes quickly, they were burning, she was so tired and she hadn't slept in days. She wanted nothing more than to just clothes her eyes and sleep but she couldn't. She held her head as she felt a piercing pain shot through her brain. It was a white hot and blinding pain. She released a small whimper.

"Is Miss Tonks okay." Pince asked walking over to her.

"I'm okay," she said getting off the chair she was on. She needed to rest, if only she could get back to her room. But she didn't get back to her room instead she found herself falling to the ground, like she had lost control of her body.

-o-

FLASHBACK

"I'm sorry Miss Tonks but it's gone."

"What's gone?" she asked from her bed.

"Didn't you know?" asked the woman in a healer's uniform. "You were…"

ENDFLASH BACK

Tonks opened her eyes with a start. She couldn't see anything except for the soft glow of the candle. She could tell from the little bit of light that she was in her room even though she had no memory of going there. The last thing she remembered was being in the kitchen when she started to feel sick. She sat up in the bed, her head still felt light and woozy. She made an attempt to come out of the bed but she found she had no energy. She closed her eyes and slumped back down on the pillow.

She could hear footsteps coming close to her bedroom. She looked over to the door. Severus appeared in the door way a few moments later carrying a small grey bottle. He said nothing. He just waked in the room and lit a few more candles. She looked at him questioningly.

"You fainted," he said, like he knew what she was thinking. "Any idea why?"

She turned away form him. "I wasn't feeling well."

He was quiet for a moment before he spoke. "Pince tells me that you have been refusing meals. Are you afraid that I am trying to poison you?"

"No," she said softly. "I have no appetite." She felt her throat begin to close up and get tight. She wanted to cry.

"You haven't eaten since you've been here and I can hear you all hours of the night so I don't think you have slept much either."

"I can't sleep" she whispered. She didn't have the courage to turn around and see his scolding looks. However he seemed determined to show her that he was disappointed by the weakness. He took her by the shoulder and turned her around. She looked at him and she saw he had an unreadable expression. A tear rolled out of her eyes. But just like all those years ago he had no reaction to it.

"I'll have Pince bring you something to eat, after which you will drink this potion," he said holding up the bottle he came in with.

"What is it?" she asked wiping the tear away.

"A dream less potion."

He turned around and left the room without saying another word.

-o-

Tonks felt a cold gust of wind tickle her feet. She opened her eyes slowly. The room was pitch black but she could still see the wind blowing the heavy black drapes apart. She pulled the sheets off and rolled out of the bed. Even the carpet on the floor felt cold to her skin. She pulled herself up on the feet and went to the window and pulled it shut. She tried to adjust her eyes to the darkness as she searched for her night robes. She felt her hands brush over something feeling light and silky. She picked it up and actually managed to put it on correctly with little effort.

-o-

After taking a bath she walked down the corridor and paused outside his door. She knocked and after about five seconds she was told to enter. She walked in the study and took a seat in a wooden armchair that was in the room. "Is there anything you need me to do?" she asked.

He looked up at her from behind a large book. "No, I'm all set for now." He put down the book and looked at her as if trying to read her. "How was your sleep?" he asked. She could already tell that he was in one of his better moods.

"It was dreamless."

He nodded. "And have you eaten anything since you've been awake."

She shrugged. "No, I'm not really hungry."

"I suppose that is obvioulsy one of the effects of loosing your appetite, but you actually haven't eaten in two days."

"Two days?"

"Yes you've been asleep for two days."

It seemed like less than an hour. "Why didn't you wake me?"

"You seemed tired." He picked up his quill and wrote a new sentence on his piece of parchment. "Get something to eat then you can tell me what you think about this first chapter I've written."

-o-

"How does it compare to other books you've used, does it reflect great knowledge?" he asked, leaning over her as she read the last line on the paper.

She handed it back to him. "It's okay," she said.

This seemed to offend him. "Just okay, I spent two weeks working on this chapter and I have cited more than a fifty different references."

"What's that you said?" she asked looking up at him as he looked over the scroll to see where he could have gone wrong.

"I spent two weeks on it," he said in frustration.

"No, after that."

He went back behind his desk and picked up his quill. "I cited more than fifty different references, which is why I am confused that you would say that it's just okay."

"There you have it; you cited more than fifty different references."

"Do you think there should be more?"

She shook he head and smiled at him. "I don't think there should be any references at all."

He frowned and mumbled something inaudible under his breath.

She got up from her chair and walked over to him. "Why are you writing what has been written before?"

"Miss Tonks you are making no sense."

"I'm just saying you should write something new, something that has never been written before."

"Like what?" he asked glaring at her like. "I don't' know how I can possibly write an entire book of new defensive spells."

"That's just it," she said. "Don't write a defence against the dark arts book. There are millions of those but there are no books about you."

"What?" He looked at her like she said something obscene. "Why would I write a book about myself?"

"Because people want know. I want to know."

He snorted. "I am not going to write a book solely for your amusement." She could see a smile creeping at the corner of his lips which meant he must have been mildly flattered.

NOTE: Okay so I had two days to write this chapter so I'm sorry if it's not up to scratch. Next update will be Monday.

If you are confused about anything don't worry, just tell me and I will try to clear it up in the next chapter one way or the other.

But if you are confused about how Snape is acting: I can't tell ou because it's part of the story

If you are confused about the flashbacks: It will become clear as the story goes on.

So be nice and Leave a review please.


	5. Novenber I

PART V: November I

Severus Snape sat in an armchair with his head cradled in his hands behind his neck. He had just now written a rather satisfying chapter of his book. When he wrote the last word he could tell that this was his best chapter yet. He felt a sudden urge to wake Nymphadora out of her sleep but he knew it would not bring the praises he was hoping for. She reacted to each of his chapter like she had done the first, she was no impressed. She had even been so bold to tell him that those spells were as old as time and she learnt nothing new. This was obviously a lie because he included a spell in there that he himself invented and never shared with anyone. She must have been trying to change his mind about the kind of book that he should write.

Severus felt a smirk on his lips as he thought about it. How could he possibly write a book about himself? It was damn near torture for him to testify at the hearing. Why would he put down everything he ever felt or been through on paper? No, it made much more sense to keep it to himself.

"You look awfully busy."

He looked at the doorway to see that Nymphadora had just walked it. There would be nights when she couldn't sleep so she would come to his study to bother him. It was clearly one of those moments. "I just finished another chapter," he said straitening up himself. "I think that would be it for the night."

"Oh no, let me read it. I'll tell you what I think." She sat on the other armchair in the room and held out her hands.

He sneered. "I no longer value your opinion on my work. You have the same reaction to all my chapters. I am in no mood to hear it again."

"Oh but I swear it will be different this time," she said pleading.

He sighed. He knew this was one of the nights that she couldn't sleep. "Do you want a sleeping potion?"

She pouted at this, like she was surprised that he was able to read her so easily. "They make me drowsy the next day. I hate them."

"Well we can't have it all."

She sighed in frustration. "Never mind then, I'll go find Pince." She got up form the chair and just as she took a step she tripped, falling forwards. The poor girl couldn't keep her footing for more than an hour at a time. She had fallen so many times that he had grown tired of asking her if she was okay.

She got up quickly and wiped her hands in the long cotton pants. She turned around. "Now you've gone and made me trip."

"I don't see how I could have done that, seeing that you have the balance of a two year old."

She walked over to him. "Come on let me read the stupid thing."

"I don't appreciate you calling my work stupid Miss Tonks."

"You know what I mean."

He gathered the papers on his desk and placed it in a file and looked up at her. It startled him at first but then he cleared his throat. "Nymphadora, you're bleeding."

-o-o-o-

For the time she had been there she had been sick so many times that he was certain that it out numbered her good days. Of course he knew she would be in an emotional state when he hired her but he never thought that she be in a physical danger as well.

"Is there anything that can help it?" she asked quietly.

She was lying on her bed with her stomach exposed. He looked at the wound and immediately he felt his head begin to throb. He had never head of this happening before. She was attacked almost three years ago and the wound was still bleeding out. He wondered why she never told anyone about this before. She must have noticed that they weren't healing. The scratches were deep and crimson red and still bleeding slightly, though he managed to clear away most of the blood. The line in the middle was the deepest and ran right through her navel. He had never seen this happen before. "I think you should go to St. Mungo's" he finally said.

"No," she complained. "I'm fine; I just need a little time to heal."

"And two years wasn't sufficient?"

She pulled down her night shirt and turned to the side. "I'll be fine by tomorrow."

"Don't be silly," he said. He knew her well enough to know that if she didn't want to go to St. Mungo's then she wasn't going to go. He would have to try to fix her himself. "Raise back up your shirt, I know something that might help." She turned back on her back slowly and rose back up her shirt to where the wounds started. "This might not work so I'm not making any promises. And it might do more harm than good."

"It's okay," she whispered. "I trust you."

He felt his voice get caught on his throat. Suddenly he couldn't speak. He took his wand out from the bed side table and began to mutter a song like enchantment over the wounds. He saw that they were having the desired knitting effect.

"How are you doing that?" she asked.

"Shh," he whispered. He moved on from the first line to the one on the outer end. This one healed in the same fashion. However he had to pass pieces of cotton on the middle one to clean out the blood that had gathered. Then he whispered the enchantment over wound. It knitted slowly until there were only thin red lines on her stomach. "Now, I'm not sure how this will hold, so we'll have to wait and see."

She passed her hand over her stomach. "What was that spell," she asked sitting up. He put his hand on her shoulder to indicate that she should lay back down.

"It's something I invented."

"You invented?" She sounded slightly shocked and impressed.

"Yes, to counteract another spell I invented."

"Another spell, how many of them did you invent? Why is it that you never told anyone about them?"

He sneered. "I did once and it was a huge mistake. Now every Tom Dick and (Literally) Harry wants to use it."

"What spell is it? Do I know it?"

He sneered, because he almost laughed out loud at the memory. "I believe that particular spell caused you some grief in the sixth year."

She pouted as if trying to remember. Her face contorted in realisation. "levicorpus,"

He nodded. "You see, in the wrong hands it can be dangerous. Who knows that better than you?" He was referring to an incident when she came in the staff room crying to Professor Sprout because someone had hung her upside down by her ankles and revealed her underwear to the school. She didn't hear who spoke it because it is non-verbal but she knew it was a Slytherin.

"I should really beat you for that one."

"Like I said, it got in the wrong hands. When I was in my fifth year someone used it on me."

"Oh yes James," she said a small smile creeping on her face. He felt a tinge of embarrassment in the pit of his stomach. "Remus told me, I was telling him about the time that happened to me and he told me when James used it on you. Now I'm sort of wondering why you didn't stand up for me more, you just gave them a little bit of detention."

"Well it's obvious, isn't it?" he said.

"Why?" she asked.

"You were a Hufflepuff." He got up from the chair and placed it back in the corner of the room. He couldn't be in that room too long. "Sleep on your back tonight," he said.

"Don't worry I have practice in that area."

Was that meant to sound perverted, he didn't know but either way he had to get out of the room quickly. "Good night Nymphadora."

-o-

Severus rested his head on the pillow looking at the crescent moon. This arrangement was beginning to get more difficult than he hoped. He couldn't believe that he let Harry Potter of all people talk him into hiring her. He knew what people in the office were saying; they all thought that they had something going on between them. He imagined that people thought they were having sex when she was in his office for hours at a time but in reality he was just dictating a report for her while she wrote. He never did anything in his handwriting because most people couldn't understand it. They said it was too small and too cramped.

It hadn't been long since Remus had died and she wasn't willing to jump right into work like he was so she took some time off. When she came out to work he had decided to put her in the office before sending her out to do anything dangerous. She had just finished writing what he said and started to correct the errors she made while writing.

FLASHBACK

"Nymphadora, you are being silly, why don't you use your wand." He asked from behind his desk. He looked at her as her hand hovered over her wand for a second before she took back up her quill.

"I prefer to do it by hand," she said."

END FLASHBACK

That was the first time he noticed something was wrong with her. During that month he took notice of her actions around the office, she never used magic. He wasn't quite ready to jump to conclusions so he decided to ask someone who knew her better. She had been spending a lot of time with Mrs. Weasley at the Borrow so he called on her to inquire about her condition.

FLASHBACK

They sat around the table and Mrs. Weasley looked nervous for some reason. "What brings you here Professor," she asked.

"I'm concerned about Nymphadora,"

From the look on her face he could tell that his suspicions were right.

"How bad is it?" he asked. He had seen her fail to perform simple spells so he knew it couldn't be good.

"She asked me to change her hair Professor, I know the charm so I changed it for her. I think she is in denial, she hasn't been the same since loosing Remus."

"Is there anything she can do?"

"No, nothing, but she acts like she can still perform magic. I'm afraid to tell her otherwise. I thought she had moved on too soon, that she wasn't showing signs but I guessed that's her way of grieving."

END FLASHBACK

The following day he spent whole morning promising himself that he was going to let her go. But she would come in and say something totally out of order and he would reconsider it. In spite of her attitude, her lack of respect for authority, her talkativeness and her clumsiness he actually liked being around her. The day had come and gone and he had said nothing.

In fact he said nothing for two years. Instead he made her position permanent. She was not pleased but he had no choice. There was no way she could go out in the field. This was the only way she could keep her job.

However people didn't look upon this too kindly. They didn't understood why he needed an assistant and there were rumblings about her being rude and him not reprimanding her. Of course, she couldn't help it and most of her cheek was returned with equal severity but they didn't see that. All they saw was him showing favouritism. He was able to keep it to just that until someone decided that it would be a good idea to ask her out in front of him. She was in his office writing his memo when Ben Stonewell came in to drop in a vacation request.

FLASHBACK

Ben Stonewell walked passed him and to Nymphadora and stopped at her chair and desk. "Maybe you could join me in Malta huh Tonksy."

Nymphadora looked up at him and rolled her eyes, she looked very annoyed by him.

Severus cleared his throat. "Mr. Stonewall," he said. The young man paused at the door and turned around. Severus held up the vacation request. "It's been granted and it's permanent."

"Excuse me sir," he said looking confused.

"You're fired. Pack your things and leave the building."

"But why..."

"Are you still here, do I need to escort you out of the building?"

The young wizard left the office swearing at Severus and he really couldn't care less.

"That was a bit much, don't you think?" she asked. But Severus could see a smirk on her face that indicated it pleased her. But what worried him was that he was pleased because she was pleased.

END FLASHBACK

Maybe he shouldn't have fired him. Maybe that was a bit much. But what was he supposed to do. That was not appropriate office behaviour. But what irked him the most was that it was common knowledge that her boyfriend was brutally murdered not too long ago. He couldn't understand how Mr. Stonewall could have thought it would be a proper thing to try a pick up line on her.

Needless to say the reaction was not good. He had never heard so many people gossip about him in his life. People were now certain that he fired Mr. Stonewall because he and Nymphadora were in a relationship. Naturally he had to busy himself with firing people for more ridiculous reasons so the incident would not look isolated. At the same time he had to keep his good record in tact. They caught more dark wizards that month than any other. Some of the rumours died down but not all. That's when he decided to start to date. He told Nymphadora she was a muggle but she was really a squib. He tried to put all his efforts into the relationship but he found himself bored and not interested. He ended it, but it had the desired effect. There were no more rambling about him and Nymphadora anymore.

They worked in peace for more than a year until she went after Bellatrix. He was so angry with her; he couldn't even stand to look at her. He knew what would happen. He knew he would be asked to fire her and that was the last thing he wanted to do. He didn't know when it happened but he started to get quite attached to her. She was the only one who could take his mind off things, she was the only one who could put up with him, she would laugh at him at all the right times and take him seriously when she knew she ought to. He hated to admit it but he actually needed her more than she needed him.

He only knew how much when he outright refused to fire her. And what had been speculation had been confirmed, at least by the Minister anyway who was the worst person who could have found out. He gave him an option to end it or step down. This was frustrating as there was nothing to end, they weren't in a romantic relationship but it was a relationship all the same, one that he himself couldn't define. It wasn't quite friendship because he had hoped for more at times and he knew it was wrong.

He had been thinking about this so much that he had been short with her for the first two weeks she was at his manor. He tired to avoid her by giving her long and difficult chores to do but it only made it worse, he thought about her all the time, he wanted to talk to her to have the same thing they had when they were back in the office. But he couldn't do that. Once he knew how he felt about it, he knew he had to draw a line somewhere.

But the line didn't last long. She was such a fragile thing that he couldn't bear to see her miserable. He wanted her close to him, where he could keep an eye on her, to make sure she was taking care of herself, or really so he could take care of her.

NOTE: So I've explained what is going on his head. Now we know what he is thinking and we know what she is thinking. Now we can have fun with them.

I hope you guys understant what's going on with him. Here's a hint. he's forty two.

Anyway: Thanks for the reviews for the last chapter I appreciate them. But I generally accept three reviews for Snape/tonks stories per chapter. I only got two and that sort of sucks because a lot of work goes into writing them and you generally like so see that people are reading it or else you wil be wasing your time. So please please please if you read it, review it.


	6. November II

PART VI: November II

"_I think he knows," Remus said pulling his cloak over his head._

"_Then why are you going?" She said looking at him._

"_Because I have to, don't you understand?"_

_Her words were cut midsentence by the sound of a scratching at the door._

Tonks opened her eyes with a start. She had been having a nightmare. She could feel her night shirt clinging to her skin, she was sweating. She passed her hand trough her hair and took a deep breath. She had been dreaming about the last night she shared with Remus. She had begged him not to go but he still went and it was to his detriment. She had this dream before, sometimes in the day but mostly in the night but she had never heard that scratching noise before. The noise was a terrifying one, not unlike the one she just heard at her door. She sprung off the bed and looked at the door. The scratching had stopped.

She pulled on her robe and wrapped it around herself. She was certain that she heard a noise. She walked to the door and went to her knees and looked under the door. She couldn't see anything. She got on her feet and opened the door slowly, poked her head outside and looked both ways. She didn't see anything.

She pulled open the door and walked quickly down the hall until she was at the door to Severus's study. She pushed it open. She was surprised to see that he didn't lock it, he usually did. He peered inside, he wasn't there. She walked the hall quickly to his bed chamber. She knocked at the door. She waited. There was no answer so she knocked again and waited again but still she got no answer.

She turned the boor knob and pushed opened the door. She had never seen his room before. His room was almost identical to hers except it was larger and had a desk in the corner. She looked at the large bed that was still perfectly made which meant that he probably didn't even go his room for the night.

She decided that he must have been in the library. The instant she hit the landing of the second floor she could tell that he wasn't there, there were no lights on. She went back down the stairs and tried the kitchen but still she couldn't find him. She resisted the urge to shout his name and instead called the name of the house elf. "Pince," she called. And just as quickly as she called his name the elf had apparated to her side.

"Yes Miss Tonks, you called."

"Pince, do you know where Severus is?" she asked.

"He's downstairs Miss."

"There's a downstairs?" she asked. She had been here more than a month and she had no idea there was a downstairs.

"Yes Miss. His laboratory is downstairs. Master is abnormally brilliant, can make any potion there is."

She sighed. "I bet he told you to say that." The fact that he said nothing meant that he most likely did. "So where is it, I've never seen a staircase going downstairs."

"Pince will show Miss Tonks." The elf walked hunched back up the hall and opened the door to his study. She followed him in. She had spent a lot of time in there and she was certain she would have noticed if there was a staircase in the room. But elf didn't point out a staircase, instead the pulled on a red book and the bottom of the book case that was in the corner. She looked at it in amazement as the book case collapsed and revealed a small doorway that led to a flight of stairs. "It is here." She walked in the hole and head the wall behind he shut solid. The stairway was dark and narrow. She walked it down slowly, while holding on the walls. As she took her next step she felt her foot slip on air and she went tumbling forward. "Ouch, "she yelled when she landed on her hands at the bottom of the stairs.

The room she was in was dimly lit; there were bottles of unidentified things lining the walls. She could see Severus looking at her from a long table covered in bottles and instruments.

"I thought you were a burglar."

She got up and wiped her hands on her pants. She instinctively passed her hand over her stomach to make sure he wounds hadn't opened up again and was relived to find that they were still fine. "I missed a step," she said walking over to him.

"No, I can actually claim that one, it's a trick step."

"You should have warned me."

"You shouldn't have invited yourself down here," he replied.

"So you were holding out on me on purpose."

He shrugged. He picked up a bottle of liquid and poured it into a cauldron that she had just noticed was simmering on the floor. "Part of me wants to keep this place to myself and well the other part thinks that I should tell you about it in case someone decides to invade my manor one night."

"It's a hiding place?" she asked, taking a seat on a stool.

"Well the Lord who owned this place built a secret room to live in. He was very paranoid. So I guess it can be called a hiding place."

"Who are you planning on hiding from?"

His hands glide over a piece of dried up skin. He picked up a knife and punctured it; green liquid began to ooze out. He looked up at her and his lips curled with a sneer. "I won't be doing the hiding, you will."

She perked up. "Why, should I expect a bunch of people to come in here hurling spells at us?"

He shrugged. "I'm not going to pretend that this house it not a dangerous place to live but I think you are mostly safe with me but by yourself well..."

They hadn't talked about the fact that she had lost her powers since the incident. He seemed to not want to bring it up in hope of spearing her but she was secretly hoping that he would bring it up so she could explain herself. "Sorry I ruined everything."

He seemed to sense where she was coming from right away. "I hardly think you ruined everything, you just ruined one thing if my memory serves me right."

She sighed and looked at him. "I know you think I am weak."

He looked at her without saying a word.

"But I'm not, it's just really difficult for me and I thought that if I could only forget about the whole thing..."

He sat on a stool similar to the one she was on and looked at her with folded arms. He wasn't the kind to speak openly and she could tell that the conversation was uncomfortable for him but she felt like she owed him an explanation.

"I know that Molly, Harry, Ron and all the others think I'm a little fragile, going crazy over my dead boyfriend."

"I don't think any one faults you Nymph."

She let out a heavy breath. "I guess I never told them because I didn't make any difference, it would bring him back."

"Told them what?" he whispered then cleared his throat.

"That we were married."

"You were married?" he asked genuinely surprised.

"Yes, it was a spur of the moment thing but it was the best night ever. We said we would tell everyone about once the war was over but we never got to." His expression was unreadable. "When he killed him it was like he tore my soul in two and it felt like I would never be whole again. I wanted to die, I didn't care that he attacked me." She was surprising herself. She thought that if she told anyone about this she would be a sobbing mess being forced to relive those memories. However Severus made it easy, she hardly noticed that he was there, it was like she was talking to herself. "But Greyback is an evil bastard. I thought he would kill me for sure... but he must have known somehow... maybe he could sense it... and he wanted me to suffer."

"He knew what Nymphadora?"

She looked away form him and passed her hand over the stomach. "That I was pregnant."

Ten minutes of silence passed between them before Severus spoke. "I'm truly sorry Nymphadora."

She shook her head. "No, why should you be sorry. You didn't do anything."

He shook his head. "No, I meant that it was unfair that you had to go through what you went through."

She shifted her weight on the stool. "But life isn't fair is it. You know that as well as I do." She decided that she had quite enough of a release for one night, there was point drowning that man in her sorrows, especially since he had so much of his own. "So what are you making?"

He looked at her, bringing his brows together. "A blood replenishing potion, for you." he whispered.

"Does that hour glass mean anything?" she said pointing at the hourglass on the table that had long emptied the sand into the bottom of the container.

"It's a timer," he said not looking at it but keeping his eyes on her like she was a time bomb waiting to explode.

"Well time was up about ten minutes ago."

He snapped out of it and got up off the stool and looked at his potion. "God Lord it's ruined."

"Ruined?"

"Yes, I can honestly say that I have never ruined a potion in my life."

"Never in your life?"

He shook his head, looking at the green potion in amazement. "Never. Look what you made me do you silly little thing."

She smiled. "Well let me see if I can help. Didn't you tell me once that almost every potion mistake can be corrected?" She got up form the stool and walked over the other side of the long table where he was standing.

He held up his hands. "No Nymphadora, I don't think we need any tears in this cauldron. One more drop of sodium in this and I'll be sending you to St. Mungo's looking like the thing on page five."

"What's the thing on page five?" she asked smiling at him.

"My point exactly."

He waved his wand over it and the contents disappeared. "It's unsalvageable. I'll attempt it again tomorrow."

He took off his gloves and dumped it on the table. "I think that will do for the night. You should get some sleep."

"I was just sleeping?"

"I know and you are now awake so I can't imagine that it was a very peaceful sleep."

She sighed and began to walk out the room and back up the stairs where she came. He was walking close behind her. She had just turned around to tell him that he should put some lights on the stairs when she felt her foot miss the same step she missed earlier. She was about to fall backwards when he grabbed her around the waist before she could hit the ground. "You should really put some lights here."

"Lumos," he said still holding her. The tip of his wand glowed. She could see his eyes shining in the bright light. She had never noticed it before, but if you looked really hard, his eyes were actually a very dark brown and not jet black like she always thought. "Are you steady," he asked.

She was confused by the question at first then she suddenly snapped into it. "Yeah, I'm fine." He moved his hand from around her waist and let her balance on her feet. She smiled briefly at him and turned back around. Instead of another step there was a blank space that seemed to be filled with continuous nothingness. "That is a death trap," she said stepping over the space.

"That was the idea," he said from behind her.

"I could have broken my neck."

"You almost break your neck just by sitting; you don't need a trick step to accomplish that."

"You might have a point there Severus.

NOTE: I'm sorry I took so long to get this chapter up but it just wasn't happening for me. It's now three in the morning and I finally managed to write something postable.

I know this was a little short but I'll try to make the other chapters longer.

Oh and I am really trying to make him meaner but he just doesn't want to comply. I swear it's like I have no control over what he says...


	7. December I

PART VII: December I

Severus Snape had a death list or rather Severus Snape had a list of people he wanted dead. Of all the people on the list only one of them he had a positive chance of riding the world of them and that was Bellatrix Lestrange. Everyone else on the list was impossible if not unethical to kill. He knew he could never kill Voldemort and wouldn't be stupid enough to try and for a long time he wanted to get rid of Lucius Malfoy but he would never be allowed to kill him. Life was so unfair. All these people who represented another part of his life was still alive, all these people who deserved to be dead. He hadn't updated this list untill about a week ago. Recently added was the werewolf Greyback. The knowledge of Greyback being at large never disturbed him before but now that he heard what he had done the very idea of him still breathing seemed to offend him. But the trouble with the whole thing was that no one knew where Greyback was. When Voldemort was defeated he was no where to be seen. A lot of people speculated that he was in Russia. The last anyone heard of him, he attacked a woman and her child in Ukraine. He could still be there for all he knew.

He got up from his arm chair and looked out the small window behind him. A thick layer of snow had covered the ground, creating a long stretch of pure white grounds. And somewhere in the mist of all this white he could see a pink headed figure strutting across the ground, falling every two steps. Why was Nymphadora outside in the freezing cold in just a jumper and a pair of jeans?

-o-o-

"Nymphadora, why are you outside in this weather courting a cold?"

She turned around at the sound of his voice. "You're very good at sneaking up on people aren't you?"

He shrugged. "Why are you outside?"

She pointed at a pine tree in the distance. "Do you have an axe?"

"Oh yes, here it is," he said handing her an imaginary axe. "Why would I be walking around with an Axe?"

"Just thought you'd have one."

"Why, prey tell, do you want an axe?"

She looked at him and smiled. "Well I saw that tree from my window."

"And you decided it offended you so you want to cut it down."

"No," she said wrapping her arms around her waist. "I want a Christmas tree."

She was smiling, really smiling, and he could tell that she was genuinely smiling this time because he hadn't seen it in a long time, that mischievous gleam. He shifted his weight on his feet. "I don't celebrate Christmas." He said shortly, "Let's go inside."

But she didn't want to go inside. "Why in god's name do you not celebrate Christmas?"

"I'm Jewish," he lied. The truth was his father would always wage a war against his own liver and get so inebriated that he would hardly be able to string sentences together. He hated Christmas; he never had a good one. But he wasn't in the mood to talk about his dear father.

She looked at him trying to determine if it was true, she squinted and appeared to be searching her memory for something that would contradict his statements. Then she smiled in triumph. "Why is that you don't have a menorah. Shouldn't you be celebrating Hanukkah?"

"I don't feel up to it this year."

She frowned and put her hands on her hips. "Severus Snape you are not Jewish."

He loved the fact that he was winning this argument. "My father was Jewish. I had my bar mitzvah and everything."

A smirk came on her face. "Just last night Pince served you pork chops."

Damn it. He raised his hands in defeat. "Okay I am not Jewish but I still I don't celebrate Christmas."

"Fine then, I'll put this tree in my room and since you don't celebrate Christmas, I'll just pitch away the present I bought you."

A present, she had gotten him a present. He had never received a present from anyone who wasn't his mother or Lily. "Wait don't be so hasty, you can have your tree."

"Yes," she said and smiled at him. "Help me cut it down."

"Not now."

"Why not?"

"It is freezing and you don't even have decorations for the blasted thing yet."

She sighed. "I guess you're right. But when I go to London tomorrow you'll have to cut it."

"Yes tomorrow." He didn't even care at that point he just wanted to get inside.

-o-o-

A low fire kindled in the fire place in the living room. Severus sat by the fire and placed his hands over it to feel the warmth. Maybe it wasn't a good idea to go out in the cold without a pair of gloves. He was very still cold and was certain he was feeling even colder than he did outside. Nymphadora on the other hand was fine, she had joined him by the fire place with a glass of wine. "I swear you drink more wine than water."

"Whatever you kill sport." She kneeled on the carpet laughing at him as he rubbed his hand together. "Are you really that cold?"

"Yes," he complained.

"Are you kidding me, I thought you liked the cold."

"Who likes the cold?"

"Well this house is always sort of cold."

The house did have a sort of uncomfortable coldness like a ghost was wondering the halls but it was nothing compared to weather outside.

"Have a glass of wine, it will warm you up."

He sat on the carpet and leaned against the palm of his hands. "I don't drink."

"Ha."

"What?"

"Heavens we have been living together for the past two months Severus."

"Maybe I should restate that, I don't drink with you."

"What wrong with drinking with me."

He looked at her as she gazed at him with an amused expression on her face. "Always drink alone unless you can't help it. Can you imagine what would have happened if I went about drinking alcohol with everyone who offered me a drink. I would have spilled so many secrets we would all be dead."

"Well you're not a spy anymore and I am certainly not working for you know who."

It maybe wasn't a show of trust to refuse to have a drink with her. "I'll have just one drink." She snapped her fingers and Pince apparated with a glass and a bottle covered in dust. The elf bowed as low as his back would allow then disapparated again. He poured himself a glass full and sipped it slowly. He would always use the opposite strategy when drinking with Death Eaters. It was always important that you take the first drink and when you do, drink a lot. It was not unexpected that they would follow suit. Before they know it, they're on their fifth glass and he would be still nursing his second. He had done it so many times, and no one ever noticed that he was getting them drunk.

But with Nymphadora it was different. He didn't have any hidden secrets that would jeopardize his life and he was certain that she would drink more than him without being prodded in that direction.

"Have you always had these alcoholic tendencies?" he asked looking at the flames dancing.

"I'm not an alcoholic I just like elf-made wine and you happen to have a dozens of bottles collecting dust," she said matter-of-factly.

He snorted. "You always seemed the type to overindulge. I remember one time you came into the leaky cauldron already sort of tipsy."

"What time was that? I never get drunk."

He passed his hand through his hair. "It was a very long time ago. You must have been about two or three years out of school."

She smiled in realisation. "You prat, I wasn't drunk?"

"Your behaviour suggested otherwise. You were behaving very odd. I was slightly embarrassed to see a former student acting that way." She shoved him on his arms and he smiled slightly at the contact. He had clearly touched a nerve. "You maybe can't remember a thing about what happened that night."

"I remember every thing about that night. It was dreadful."

"Yes well over drinking tends to have that effect on people."

She snorted. "You were awful, you hardly paid attention to me."

He looked at her and sneered. "Had you been sober I would have entertained you for a little longer."

"I was sober," she whispered. "I was trying to ..." she stopped. "Never mind."

"What?" he asked now interested.

She looked at him and rolled her eyes. "Promise you won't laugh." He raised his free hand and crossed his middle finger and index finger. "Okay," she said. "I was trying to seduce you."

He didn't know what he expected her to say but it wasn't that. "Why?" he asked in a hush voice like he was being over heard.

"Surly you must have realised that I had a crush on you in school."

He could feel his cheeks burning at the news. The muscles in his face were trying to prevent a smile from coming on his features. "I assure you that I had no idea."

She giggled slightly and passed her hand through her hair. "I was certain you knew. I thought that was why you were nice to me."

"I was nice to you because I saw how absolutely hopeless you were." He took another sip of wine to avoid her seeing that he was smiling.

She shifted her sitting position to that of a swami's. "I used to leave clues you know. Once I wrote a whole love letter hidden in my essay on the draught of the living dead."

"I assure you that I never saw any hidden messages in any of your essays."

She laughed at herself. "I wrote the letter in hidden ink then I wrote my essay over it. I got an O on that essay so I just thought well you got the letter."

"That was very careless of you. I would have been in a world of trouble if Dumbledore who can read in invisible ink by the way had happened to read those essays. Thank god nothing became of it."

"Yes thank god for that." She added. "I was pretty crazy huh?"

"Why was, you still are pretty crazy."

She nodded in agreement staring into the fire. "Yes I always seem to fall for people I shouldn't be with."

"Now, I'm insulted. You tell me that you had a crush on me and then you quickly add that it was a crazy idea."

"Oh sorry Severus, I didn't mean it like that."

"I know Nymphadora, I was only joking."

She looked at him with a shocked expression. "You can do that?"

"Do what?"

"Joke."

He shrugged. "It comes and goes."

She laughed at this and poured herself another glass of wine. "You tell a soul about that and I will kill you."

"I was going to tell you the same thing."

She snorted. "You should feel complimented. That a fine young girl like myself would have wanted an old grumpy bat like you."

"And I would have been had your track record been more admirable. My only competitor is a man who forgets himself every time moon is round."

"And there was Charlie," she added. "Although he was just practice."

"Practice, you refer to former boyfriends as practice."

"Well I can't help it. He was just what I said; practice."

"Practice for what?" he asked taking another sip from the same glass of wine.

"Well I couldn't be your lover without experience could I?"

He spit out the wine he was drinking. The fire place flaerd up for a moment and she giggled. He looked at her. He was certain that she was joking but the look on her face indicated that she wasn't. "Yes, you were definitely crazy."

"Very imaginative," she said like she was admiring her ideas.

He expected that the news of her wanting to sleep with him at such a young age to unnerve him but it seemed so silly that he couldn't take it seriously. "And all this happened in school?"

"Yes, seventh year in the trophy room?" she said with a smirk and took another sip of her wine.

"I feel like I should give you detention. That is definitely some serious rule breaking."

"Oh please, every one did it there?"

"I didn't." He added before he could stop himself.

"You're not a..."

" Heavens no... do I seem...?"

She nodded slightly.

"Room of requirement, seventh year."

She smiled in satisfaction. "I knew I could get you to tell me. Do you want to tell me who?"

"No," he said. He had already told her much more than he had ever said to a single person alive.

"Okay, so how would someone like say...Harry feel if you told him who."

"Why would I be discussing this with Harry? I'm not entirely sure why I'm telling you."

"Jesus, Severus was it Lily Evans?"

Oh how he wished it was Lily Evans. "No, It wasn't. Although I did do it because I had a suspicion that she did it with James."

"To get back her, that's brilliant."

"Didn't work though. She married the idiot and instead I got a life long admirer."

"Pardon the pun but you are a cocky bastard."

"No, I was born in wed lock." He said unable to resist.

"Two jokes in one night; this must be a record for you."

"Yes well alcohol tends to have that effect on me."

"So you really don't want to tell me who?" she asked again. "I swear I wouldn't repeat it."

He sighed. He knew she probably wasn't going to rest until she found out who it was. "It was your aunt."

"Aunty Bella, ewwww. I believe it, I want to throw up now."

"Not that crazy hag. The sane one."

She smiled and opened her mouth in realisation. "Auntie Narcissa. Oh my what would her husband say."

"Nothing because he doesn't know."

"I see why you don't drink with company. You have many secrets indeed." She raised her glass to him.

He raised his in turn. "Not as entertaining as yours though."

She looked at him and smiled softly. "I think I'm drunk."

"I know you are."

She rested her glass on the floor. "I'll stop drinking now."

"If you want I could obliviate your memory so you can forget we ever had this conversation?"

She shook her head. "I wouldn't want to forget you sleeping with Narcissa for the world."

"I wish I could share that attitude. It was a dreadful experience for me."

"How so."

"He sighed. " Well I felt nothing for her. The whole time I had to imagine it was Lily."

"You really did love her, didn't you."

" She was a remarkable person. I have never met anyone like her and I don't think I ever will. I'll be the first to admit that I was a bit obsessed. There wasn't a single second in a day when she wouldn't cross my mind. It's significantly less now but it still happens all the same." He couldn't believe he was telling her all this. He wasn't sure if it was because she was slightly drunk or because he wanted her to know but he knew either way he had to let it out. He had kept it in for so long.

She took a sip of the drink she had abandoned a moment ago. "Do you think you'll ever stop loving her?" she asked.

"Will you ever stop loving Remus," he asked her in turn.

She looked away from him and into the fire. "Well what do you do if your one true love dies? It's like living in heaven then being cast out into the world again. How can you ever live on earth again when you have seen heaven?"

"I am no expert on the topic but I suppose we are meant to make our own heaven."

"Make your own heaven?" she repeated and looked at him. "I don't even know how to begin to do that. Do you model it after the old?"

He shook his head. "That would not do because you're trying to recreate perfection, a perfection that exisited at a particular place and time. Once that time has gone, once you no longer live in that place, you can't revisit it. Time only allows us to move forward but it gives of the gift of remembrance."

A single tear rolled off her left cheek. On instinct he wanted to reach out wipe it away but she beat him to it. "I wish I could forget."

He moved closer to her. "I made that very mistake and I spent most of my life regretting and denying what had happened. But now I know to move forward is not to forget and forgetting does not allow us to move forward. You must remember. If you choose to forget you leave a piece of your soul behind you can never be complete."

She looked at him and smiled softly. "I thought you said you weren't an expert."

"I'm not," he replied. "Those words were the last lesson Albus Dumbledore taught me. It's message will ring in my heart forever."

NOTE: Okay So I'm not sure how this chapter will be received. I think it was better than the last. I'm not sure which of my reviewers would like this chapter. Some tell me to make Snape mean and other tell me to make him nice.

I really had to get the ball rolling between them. I hope this did just that.

And sorry for taking so long to update. I know it's tuesdays by now.

I hope I showed that they got closer because she told him about what happened.


	8. December II

PART VIII: December I

Despite Severus trying his utmost hardest not to enjoy himself, Nymphadora had actually gotten him to smile more than once in her effort to decorate the tree. She had underestimated the size of the three and was shocked to see that it actually towered a couple of feet higher than her. After several innovative attempts to get the star on top of tree which all resulted in her falling over, he finally decided to assist her. In a wave of his wand the task was finished and she moved on to changing the drapes. This did not go down well with him as he detested the idea of her redecorating his entire house but she repeatedly reminded him that it was only temporary and he would soon have his black and green heaven back to its original state. She actually went to bed with a smile on her face, feeling like she had won a small victory over him.

Christmas greeted the manor with a thick layer of snow covering the grounds. When she looked out the window she couldn't help but feel a pull on a heartstring. It was like she woke up a postcard. She made quick rush the bathroom and freshened up before she went to the dining room for breakfast.

Severus was an early raiser and when she walked in the dining room he was already there looking at the pale gold drapes like they were something obscene. "Stop staring at it, it will only be up for twelve days."

He turned and looked at her. "I would prefer if it wasn't up at all," he commented looking at her.

She didn't bother to comment on this because she knew if he really wanted to take it down he would have already. She had a feeling that he had actually liked it. He was always so stuck in his ways it was difficult to get him to agree to do anything different. "Lets just have breakfast then we can exchange gifts," she said cheerfully.

"Exchange?" he said as if genuinely confused.

Yes, she commented. "You did get me something right?"

"You never said you wanted anything."

She couldn't believe that he didn't get her anything. He had to be joking but his face was so straight that she couldn't tell if he was joking or not. She looked at him and he looked back at her. He really looked serious and there wasn't a slightest hint of a sneer on his features. "You know when someone gets you something it's only manners to get them something in return?"

He shrugged.

In less than five minutes he had managed to ruin her day. She was no longer in the mood to talk to him. She ate her breakfast in a hurry and handed him his gift in a hurry. She looked at him as he took his time peeling away the wrapper. She looked at his at the expression on his face as he revealed the yellow and black book with a title that read; Writing an Autobiography For Dummies.

"Hmm interesting," was his response. "You never give up do you?"

"No, I don't." She picked up the wrapper and crumbled it in her hands. "I'm going to get ready to go to the Weasley's, they invited us." She didn't bother to ask him if he liked it or not. She had really meant that gift as a joke but she didn't feel up to a laugh. She was very disappointed that he didn't get her anything and perhaps that was why she didn't give him the other gift she had for him.

She walked out of the room, leaving him looking at the book. He didn't seem to notice that she was upset. She walked down the hall to her bedroom and closed the door softly.

Nypmhadora walked to the bed and sat, taking a deep breath. She couldn't understand why she was so upset, this was Snape after all, why did she think that he would get her something. She stood back up and walked to her vanity counter and picked up her hairbrush and began to brush her pink hair that was now fading furiously. When she was satisfied that her hair looked decent enough, she placed the brush back on the counter. At the same time she felt her hand brush against a cold piece of metal. She looked down at it.

It was a silver and blue metal box with engravings etched in the shiny metal surface. She was certain that she didn't put that there. She picked it up and opened it slowly. Inside of the box was a long string of links. She picked up the links that were very fine but heavy in her hand. It shined brilliantly in the light coming from window but not as much as the pink, tear shaped diamond pendant that dangled from the bottom of her chain.

She crept on her face. The bastard had her believe that he didn't get her anything. She took the heavy necklace and placed it around her neck. She looked at her reflection and the stone glittering back at her. Not only did he get her something but he also got her something absolutely beautiful. She opened the door and made her way back to the living room where he was reading the book. She looked at him and from the smirk on his face she could tell that he knew she found it.

"I hate you," she said.

"Is that why you were so short with me earlier?"

She walked over to him and punched him in the arm. "Why didn't you just tell me that you got me something?"

"Because I couldn't resist seeing the look on your face when you thought I had not."

She sat in the couch next to him and held the diamond in her hand. "It's really beautiful, what made you think of getting me this."

"It reminded me of you."

She could feel her cheeks burning. She looked at him as he turned another page in the book, pretending to be more interested in what it said than the conversation they were having. "You think I'm beautiful?" she asked playfully.

He put the book down and looked her. "It reminded me of you because it's pink and it's shaped like a tear drop, you cry so much I'm surprised you aren't dehydrated. Then again you rehydrate with wine."

It was just like Severus to take an opportunity to be nice and mask it with some kind of rude comment but she didn't mind it so much. "Anyway I still love it, it's really very stunning and it looks good on me. Why is it so heavy though?"

He looked at her and squinted. "Nymphadora, do I strike you as a kind of person who indulges in vanity."

Was it a trick question? "No," she said slowly. "Or you would have put more effort into your appearance."

This comment did not faze him. "I placed an extremely strong shielding charm on it, no spell, curse, hex or jinx can touch you. That charm tends to make the object heavier."

She picked it up and looked at it. "In case someone attacks me?" she asked.

"Exactly my point, although it does not protect against the killing curse, no spell can stop that. This will just give you enough time to run away form danger."

"Run away?" she asked. She was an auror, they were not the type of wizards who would run away from a fight.

"Until you can defend yourself that is exactly what you should do."

She wasn't going to argue this further with him. They both would not have been on this break had she listened to him in the first place. He was trying to protect her and despite her arguments against it, she appreciated it. She stood up and looked at him. "Why aren't you getting ready?"

"Ready for what?" he asked.

"We're going to Weasley's," she said.

"No dear, you are going to Weasley's. I'll stay home."

"No, we were both invited and you will come along with me." He shook his head in a way that said he was very serious about what he said. "Please come with me, I'm really not in the mood to have people asking me if I'm okay every two seconds, you will be a good distraction."

"Distraction?"

"Yes, so I can sneak off with you to some quiet corner and I will not have to deal with Molly's pity glances and her talking to me like I'm a child."

"Why are going if you don't want to go?"

"Because it's manners."

-o-o-o-

"Do you think Tonks is coming?" Ginny asked. "I haven't seen her since she started to work for Snape. What if he has her locked it some tower, guarded by a fire breeding dragon."

Harry laughed at this.

"Then we'll send Charlie to rescue her," Mrs. Weasley said. "Isn't that right Charlie," she asked her second son.

Charlie just looked at her and grinned. "I promise you mother, if she needs recuing I'll come to her defence."

Mrs. Weasley was trying desperately to get Charlie interested in Tonks, she had been mentioning her to him all week, since the moment he set foot in the front door. From what Harry could tell Charlie was only moderately interested and seemed reluctant to make any commitment to pursue her.

To a certain extent Harry was relieved because he was certain that Professor Snape and Tonks were just fine, they always got along well and there was no reason for that to change.

Mrs. Weasley set the twelve places at the table and began to set the lunch out. Harry had almost decided that Tonks was not going to be joining them but then he heard a knock on the door. "I'll get it," he said. He went to the door and opened it expecting to see Tonks but he certainly wasn't expecting to see Professor Snape along with her.

"Wotcha Harry," she said smiling.

"Hello Tonks," he said. "It's nice to see you and...ah...Professor Snape."

"Potter," Snape said, looking at him form under his nose. Tonks looked at him and giggled, something Harry thought was weird.

"Come in, we've just set the table." Harry opened the door wide for both of them to enter. He closed the door and from the complete silence in the room Harry could tell that he wasn't the only one who was surprised to see Snape there.

-o-o-o-

Lunch was a disaster. Molly ddin't even set place for Severus because she assumed that he wouldn't come. She then decided that it would be a good idea to plant her next to Charlie and force them to engage in conversation. She had somehow passed Severus on the Arthur who was asking him some questions about how Televisions work. She had managed to catch his eye and she could tell that he was being tortured.

"So what's it like working with Snape."

She looked at Charlie and took a sip of oak matured mead she was drinking. "It's fine."

"He was biggest ass back in school wasn't he, remember that time he made you do over some stupid potion until late in the night."

"Yes," she said not wanting to encourage too much talking.

He seemed to be trying to do the opposite. Whenever a topic didn't sit well with her, he would change the topic to something else. "When I heard that he was in love with Harry's mother I said to myself; well that makes a lot of sense."

"How does that make sense to you?" she asked.

He took swing of his beer and looked at her. "Well if you never met a man who needed a woman you have a prime example. No wonder why he is so bitter."

She nodded and smiled. She found that she was very annoyed that he was talking about Severus that way. She looked over his shoulder and at Severus who was looking at her in the corner of his eye.

"Tonks," Charlie said.

"Charlie," she replied playfully.

"Do you remember that time we went to Hogsmade and we saw the lead singer of the Weird Sisters in Three Broomsticks?"

She nodded. That was one of the best memories she had from Hogwarts. "Yes, I still have that sighed T-shirt."

"There's a concert new year's eve. Do you want to go?"

She looked at him and smiled softly. She did love the weird sisters and she would have jumped at an opportunity to go the concert had it not been on New Year's Eve. Somehow she couldn't imagine spending New Years Eve listening to songs she heard a million times when she could be spending the day with Severus. They didn't have anything planed but she knew that she would have preferred to be with him, sipping on wine and looking at fire works. "I don't think that would be such a good idea," she said finally.

He looked slightly surprised. "Sorry, was I being presumptuous, I should have asked if you had plans."

"No it's nothing really. I just have other commitments," she said.

"Maybe some other time then?" he asked.

"Maybe if I can find the time, but I'm very busy these days."

-o-o-

"She looks bored," Hermione said taking a seat next to Ginny, who was next to Harry. "I don't think it's working."

"I don't understand mum said that they went out during their seventh year, that Charlie was very fond of her." Ginny said.

"So what happened?" Harry asked.

"They grew apart when she started her Auror training and he started his Dragon breeding." Ginny frowned. "They would have made such a good couple. I better go tell mum it's not working." Ginny got up and walked over to her mother who was now cutting Christmas fruit cakes.

"Professor Snape looks like he wants to leave." Hermione said to him.

"He wanted to leave since he came," Harry commented taking a sip of eggnog.

"You do realise what's going on don't you?" Hermione said with a smile creeping on her face.

"Do you," harry asked. He thought he was the only one who noticed but Hermione was a very intelligent girl.

"Yes, Professor Snape and Tonks are in love with each other."

"How did you guess?"

"Well its obvious isn't it? She hasn't even looked Charlie in the eye; she keeps looking behind him to get a glance at what Snape is doing. And he, well he doesn't look to please to see her talking with Charlie."

Harry took a sip. "This was my doing by the way."

She raised he glass to him. "Congrats."

-o-o-o-

Since it was impossible to apparate in Snape's ground they had to walk form the gate to his manor which was about a fifteen minute walk. They walked up to the house in silence. She wasn't sure if this was to punish her because she convinced him to come along or if he really didn't feel like saying anything. He took his wand and opened the door and let her walk in.

She took off her coat and went over to the fireplace and immediately lit the fire place. He joined her soon after wards. "I'm never letting you convince me to do anything again. If I had to hear one more question about TVs, microwaves or toasters, I swear I would have gone mad."

"I'm sorry; I wasn't quite expecting him to ambush you like that."

"Speaking of ambush, I see you had an ambush of your own."

She giggled and placed her hand near to fire. "An ambush indeed, I think Molly is playing match maker."

"So are the old flames rekindled."

There was something in his voice when he asked it. It was almost cautions and accusing at the same time. She was so distracted by the way he asked her that she forgot to answer.

She heard the sound of him getting up. "I'm very tired," he said. "See you in the morning. Tomorrow we're looking up dementors."

"Severus," she said looking at him. "Tomorrow is Boxing day."

"And?" he asked.

"It's a holiday, shouldn't we take the day off."

"Well do what ever you please with your day, I have work to do." He walked out of the room and she heard him go into his bedroom. The whole point of sitting by the fire place was to spend the night talking to Severus, what they would have done if they had spent the day alone together. She no longer felt the need to sit there without him. She got up and walked down the hall to her bedroom.

She lit her candle and went to counter. She looked at herself in the mirror examining the necklace he gave her. She felt her insides get tight. It was a sort of personal gift, not what she expected from him but exactly the sort of thing she hoped for. It wasn't the fact that it was jewelry but she loved that it made him think of her. Even though he said it was because it was pink and shaped like a tear she didn't mind, she was really interested in fact that he thought of her at all and he could see her in something so beautiful.

She suddenly started to wish that she had brought him something better, something more personal. Then she remembered that the book wasn't the only thing she had for him. She hadn't given him his real gift yet. She smiled in excitement at the thought.

She opened the drawer and pulled out a silver box with a bow. She held onto it and walked out the room, into the hall and stopped at his door and knocked. He took about ten seconds before he opened the door. He was still dressed in the clothes he came home in, which meant he had no plans of going to bed like he said. "Yes," he said looking at her.

"I forgot to give you your gift."

"You gave me the gift this morning Nymphadora."

She held up the box. "But I had another one. I was mad at you so didn't' give you the good one."

"The good one?" he asked.

"The good one," she repeated with a smirk. "Here, open it."

She shoved it in his face and he took it from her hands and examined the box carefully. "Do I open it now?"

"No, next year." She said sarcastically. "Of course you open it now."

She pushed the door open, sending him backwards. She walked in his room and took a seat on his bed.

He looked at her in amazement. "Sure Nymphadora, you can come in."

She ignored his sarcasm. "Hurry up and open it."

He rested the box on the bed and opened it slowly. He pulled back the wrapping paper. He pulled out form the box a green and gold satin tie. "It's a tie" he said looking at it.

She smiled. "It's not just a tie, it's a Gucci tie."

"A what?" he asked.

"It's designer." She looked at him as he examined the tie like it was a bizarre object. "I was told that this is the best tie you can find anywhere in the world."

"Well thank you I certainly don't have a lot of ties."

She frowned. "You don't like it do you?"

"Of course I do. What made you think of it?"

She sighed. 'When you came to my apartment you were wearing one I thought you looked really...ah...smart in a shirt and tie."

"Smart, do I usually look stupid."

She rolled her eyes. "Try it on." He took the tie without hesitation and began to tie it around his neck. "You're doing it wrong." She said. She took up and went to him and took the tie from his hands. She tied it and then pulled it close to his neck. "There," she said. She smoothed it out on his chest and gazed at the colours. Without even knowing what she was saying she started to talk. "Charlie asked me out."

"Did he?" he said and she could feel his breath on her face.

"Yes," she replied. She took the gaze off the tie and looked into his eyes. She saw something a flicker of disappointment. "I told him that I couldn't." He nodded but without saying anything. "Is that what you wanted?" she asked. He nodded again without saying anything, but took her hands in his. She liked the feel of holding his hands, he felt strong, yet soft at the same time. She squeezed his hands in hers.

She found that she didn't want to let go. It had been years since she let anyone get his close to her. She didn't know how much she missed it. And she certainly didn't know that she wanted to be with him above anyone else until she was presented with another option. The idea of spending a second away form him, and the quiet comfort he provided seemed silly. She couldn't be apart from him; he was the only person who understood her and what she was going through.

She was caught off guard by the feel of his lips on hers. She felt a warmth move all the way form her lips to her toes. He let go of her hand but it was only to pull her in closer by wrapping his arms around her. It was so brief she wasn't sure if it could qualify as a kiss. If really felt like he touched her lips with his. He pulled her closer not leaving any space between them. She wrapped her hands arms around him and rested her head on his shoulder.

They stood there holding each other, neither seemed to want to let go. She could feel her heart beating faster in her chest, she was certain he could feel the soft vibrations against his skin, it was so loud, it sounded like drums in her head. The feeling of nostalgia rocked her brain. It was the same feeling she had when she first held Remus. The sort of safety that made her want to hold him forever. The feeling was so familiar that she couldn't bare it any longer. She pulled away from him slowly.

"I should go to bed," she whispered.

She felt his hands drop from around her waist and his body stiffen. "Yes, perhaps you should."

She stepped away from him, avoiding his eyes. "Goodnight Severus."

He took a while before he replied. He said it as she was leaving the room. "Good night Nymphadoa."

NOTE: Wasn't this long and nice. I know it's a day late but my internet has been down for a while. The wireless keeps coming in and out.

I had a hard time with this chapter because I had to make up gifts. I sort of want Snape to be in love with her already, I want Tonks to fall in love with him, so it was hard to get that across in the gift selection.

We'll see what becomes of this almost kiss next chapter. Although I already know exactly what is going to happen I just don't know how it's going to. I swear this story is so demanding that I actually have to think before I write. I usually let the characters speak for themselves. In this story I really have to control everything that he is saying or doing while taking a bunch of advice into consideration.

Speaking of which, thanks for the reviews. You guys are the best at leaving reviews. I really appreciate them.


	9. December III

**A/N: Sorry for the rating change but I think this would not have gotten validated as fifteen plus, though it is very clean. It's just maybe the situation.**

And I'll remind readers that I wrote most of this chapter before DH. So don't be bothered by anything said about Tonks' parents that is not true to canon. 

PART IX: December/January- Spotlight

Needless to say, after Christmas things were a bit awkward between them. It was almost impossible for her to stay in the same room with him for more than an hour. She spent a lot of time in her room pacing up and down, trying to decide want her next move would be. When she was a teenager the idea of having any sort of relationship with Severus Snape excited her, now the idea terrified her. She wasn't sure if she liked this rediscovered desire to be around him, to have him hold her, to listen to him talk about his life all day and tell him about hers. It was scary because the feeling was nostalgic, she had felt it before and every time she felt it the most unbelievable pain would follow. She wasn't sure if she wanted to go trough that pain again.

The first question she wanted to ask herself was if it was worth it. Was it worth it risking her peaceful sate in an attempt to reach for some form happiness? She always thought that it would be enough be at peace but was it really? Peace was really a state of neutrality. On one hand there was misery and on the other was bliss. She imagined that peace was somewhere in the middle. That was where she was and she was comfortable there. But if she could tilt the scales a little she could have a bit of happiness. Of course there was always the chance that she could slide right back down to misery but it was worth a risk. She had been in a state of misery before and if she knew one thing was that misery wasn't permanent, you could always come out of it.

After five days of reflection, she emerged from her bedroom and walked down the hall and paused at his study. She had long given up knocking, so she walked in and closed the door behind her. He was seated in his chair, writing very quickly, as if from his head. He looked up when he saw her but went back to the parchment to wrap up what he was writing. About a minute later he looked up at her. She was leaning against the door, still holding the knob.

"Yes, Nymphadora," he said after she hadn't managed to say anything.

"Do you know what today is?" she asked, after staring into his questioning eyes for a moment.

He glanced quickly at a calendar that was on his desk, the kind they give away in muggle banks. "It's December 31st."

"Exactly," she said still holding on to the knob, twisting it in her hands.

"And," he prompted her to continue.

"I want to go out," she said finally. He brought his brows together. "I want to go out and I want you to come with me." She said further.

His gaze fell to the desk; he was probably looking at nothing in particular. "It depends on where you want to go, it's already eight o'clock."

"I want to go out for food, like a restaurant."

He drummed his fingers on the desk and looked up at her. "Can't we eat here?"

She looked down at her feet, and then looked back up at him, catching his eyes. "Yes, we can but I _want_ to go out with you."

He kept staring at her. He had had the ability of making feel like she was in a glaring spotlight sometimes.

"Where?" he finally asked.

She felt her grip loosening up on the door knob. "Well I don't think you'd want gossip so..."

"Muggle?" he asked.

"Yes, do you have muggle money?"

"In Gringotts, I rarely keep it on my person."

"So can you stop by and get some." She thought that the slightest bit of complication would change his mind but he agreed to it. "So you should get ready, wear muggle clothes and we'll leave at nine."

"Nine? Is that all the time you need."

"Well I just take a bath here. We need to apparate to my place. I don't have any muggle clothes here."

"Very well then."

She left the room with him sitting by the desk like he had no intention of going anywhere. She went back to her room and started to get ready. She fixed her hair, letting the long waves out for the first time in a while, she didn't have any makeup there either so she just pulled on her bath robe and went to his room and knocked.

She heard his voice telling her to come in. She walked in and closed the door behind her. He was already dressed in a pair of black trousers and was buttoning the highest button on a dark blue shirt, with light blue stripes. "Don't button it to your neck," commanded.

"Why not, I don't think they have those buttons there for the hell of it."

She smiled and walked over to him and pulled his hands down and undid the last two buttons. "That's only if you're wearing a tie. You don't need a tie, where we're going."

"Exactly where are we going?"

"Even If I tell you, you won't know where I'm talking about so why bother."

She took one of his arms and undid the button by the cuff and did the same with the other one. "Perfect," she said when she was finished giving him a once over. "Now don't forget your coat."

He took up his coat, which looked like a muggle's coat anyway and looked at her. "I'll drop the enchantments on the grounds so we can apparate to your house, I don't imagine you want to walk in the snow in a bath robe."

"You read my mind," she said smiling.

-o-o-

He apparated them to her apartment and he left soon afterwards to go to Gringotts. That gave her time to get ready in private. Her apartment had no doors, everything was in the open. The first thing she did was find something suitable to wear. She pulled out a black turtle neck sweater and a pair of jeans she wore on her best days.

Once the clothes were on, she examined herself in the mirror. She actually liked the way she looked. It had been a long time since she looked in the mirror and not hate the reflection. Her skin had a slight glow, her eyes looked bright and her hair fell on her shoulder just the way he wanted it. The only thing that made her look out of the ordinary was fact that her hair was pink.

She took up a tube of glossy lipstick that matched her pale pink hair and applied it to her full pouty lips. She applied some mascara and some eye liner and light brush of loose powder on her face. She never wore much makeup and she wasn't about to start.

She heard a knock at the other side of the front door and she went to it. Severus was outside waiting. "Why didn't you apparate inside?"

"Wanted to make sure you were decent."

Instead of going back inside she joined him outside. "Well I'm ready anyway."

-o-o-

They stood in the doorway of a small Italian restaurant, nestled between two old pubs. The placed was packed. There wasn't much room for standing, much less sitting and eating.

-o-o-

No restaurant had room, it was a complete waste. They apprated back to his manor. It was already after ten when they sat by the fire. He moved one of the couches close to the fire place, so they could sit. He didn't think that she would want to sit on the floor in her good clothes.

"Well I tried," she said finally taking a seat. "I should have expected it would be packed, you know how muggles get about New Years Eve."

"Yes, I don't know why I didn't try to convince you stay home." He smirked

"Oh well, I think it's safe to say that our first date was a flop."

He looked at his hands for a moment. "Is that what this was?"

She sighed. "For someone so brilliant you can be quite dense at times."

He looked at her and rolled up his sleeve slightly. "Well after Christmas you hardly spoke to me."

She sighed. "I was thinking."

"What about, can I ask?"

She took off her boots and pulled her feet up on the couch in an attempt to get comfortable. "I was thinking about us."

"And?" he asked, staring into the fire.

"And I wanted to ask you what's going on between us?"

He shrugged. "Well you're part of the us, shouldn't you have an idea what's going on between us."

"I should, shouldn't I but I don't. I mean what happens when we go back to work?"

He looked at her. "I'm not going back Nymphadora."

"What do you mean Severus, have you quit?" she asked sounding paniced.

He shook his head. "The Minister thinks that our relationship, whatever it may be, is inappropriate and he wants me to either get rid of you or resign."

"What?" she asked in shock. "He can't do that."

"Actually he can, it's in the rule book. I looked it up."

"So what are we going to do?" she asked looking at him. "You can't resign."

"I can, it's either me or you."

"Than you should fire me like he says."

He shook his head. "Being an Auror can only hold my interest for so much time. My work is almost done with it. But for you," he said, his hands reaching to tuck a stray stand of hair behind her ears, "that's always been your dream hasn't it."

"Yes, but..."

"But what?" he asked, as if challenging her to come up with a logical retort.

"Why do you like me Severus?" she said so quietly that she was surprised that he caught it.

"What sort of question is that Nymphadora?"

"Well there're so many women who will have you, why are you interested in me."

He looked pensive. "Well you are the only person who gets any of my jokes."

She laughed. "Seriously," she said.

He sighed. "Because I can finally relax," he explained. "I haven't relaxed since I was seven."

"What happened when you were seven?" she asked.

He paused for a moment; she could tell that this was a difficult topic for him. "That was the first time I saw my father hit my mother. He got so drunk that he came home and started an argument because I had turned a toy fire engine he bought me green. He was so mad; he threw her down the stairs."

"Was she okay, she's a witch right?" She instinctively placed a hand on his hand that was closest to hers.

"She broke her arm and a couple ribs. She couldn't do magic anymore, similar to your situation so she asked me to bring her wand and help her and I did and I fixed her up."

"You could do healing spells at seven?" she whispered, her thump stroking his hand.

"Well I had to. After a while it became very easy and I invented some of my own, so I could better hide her bruises and what not. I did that for ten years until he finally died."

"That must have been really hard, coming from a home like that."

He shrugged. "Some times were worst than other times. I must have been the oldest eleven year old Hogwarts did ever see. A lot of people thought I was odd because I knew so many hexes and jinxes, most of them I learnt for my father, though my mother never let me use them on him."

"Why?"

"My best answer would be that she loved him. People don't always love what is good for them."

"So you never got a chance to enjoy your childhood."

"By the time I was twenty I felt like forty. I was so tired and then Lily died and I felt myself age again. When I was thirty nine I felt like seventy nine. I just wanted to sleep for a long time, and never wake up."

"How do you feel now?"

He sighed. "I feel like I'm ready to be in my twenties. I decided I'll be in twenties for a year and my thirties for another."

"So we're that same age?" she said smiling.

"Exactly." He replied. "At least for a year."

"Now I can take you home to Mum and Dad," she said with fake enthusiasm.

"Do I sense some sarcasm there?"

She sighed and looked at him in his eyes. She hadn't spoken with her parents in three years and she was still angry about he last time she saw them. "It's just that my parents are the biggest hypocrites to walk the earth?"

"How so?

"When my mother's family found out she wanted to marry a 'mud blood' they told her that she was no longer a member of the family and basted her name off the family three. But I always admired them because they were so strong to me." She moved closer to him so her legs were no touching his. "I told my mother about Remus when I first met him and she sympathized with him, she said he sounded like a strong person who had been dealt a wrong hand. But when I told her that I had fallen in love with him."

"Another story," he said.

"She said, 'Nymphadoara, you will not bring that thing in my house. I will have no daughter of mine dating a sub human'. And I said but I love him mum and she said, 'then you will be content in living in whatever kennel he can provide for you by begging on the street." Severus was silent. "So I turned to my father, thinking he would make her see sense, having been discriminated against himself..."

"And what did he say."

"Well he didn't say anything. He just gave me a look that I will never forget, like I had just stuck a five sickles sticker on my bum and decided to walk the back streets of London."

"I'm sorry to hear that, I will not pretend that I approved of Remus either but it was your choice to make, I can't see their point in denying you the happiness they themselves got a chance to enjoy."

"That's what I thought anyway. So I said my good byes and I have never spoken to them since."

"Not even after the war."

"They never wrote asking me if I was okay."

"It's always very difficult to admit you're wrong and say you're sorry."

She looked at him and smiled. "The thing is I'm not sure they are entirely sorry. My mother has always had unrealistic expectations for my love life?"

"How so?"

She smiled a little. "Well, she always thought that I should marry someone important like a minister of magic or the headmaster of a school or something like that. But she couldn't see the truth. I am the daughter of Black, my father is muggle born, my aunts are convicted Death Eaters, and I'm a methamormagus. I am basically walking around with a sign on my head that reads. "Don't date me, don't love me, don't trust me, don't take me home to mum and dad and whatever you do, don't marry me."

"But you have had dates before."

"Curiosity, they want to know what it's like to me with a metamorph."

"Oh," he said in realisation.

"So what was I suppose to do when I found someone who truly appreciated me for me. I'm afraid the only people who will find me desirable are the undesirable. I have the best chances with attracting a death eater."

"Is that where I come in?"

She laughed. She forgot sometimes that he was a Death Eater at one time but since his role in the fall of Voldemort it was impossible to think of him as ever being one. "I don't consider you a death eater Severus?"

"Then how do you explain me being attracted you," he said softly.

She thought that she would have been afraid to hear those words but when he said it she was quite relieved. It wasn't nearly as bad as she thought it would be, in fact it was absolutely pleasant.

This time when his lips touched hers it stayed there for a while, waiting for her to respond. She returned the kiss with a sort peck on his lips, giving him permission to proceed. When he kissed her she suddenly understand everything that went on between them, the award glances, the special treatment he gave her, and why he felt the need to protect her, she understood it all. Severus Snape was always on steady on his feet and when he fell he fell hard.

-o-o-

They laid on a mound of pillows and heap of blankets talking, though she hadn't been able to string a proper sentence together for a while. She just answer everything with umm and yeahs and nos. She had been rendered incoherent by the feel of his lips on hers, a startling revelation it was.

She didn't need to look at the fire place to know that it had gone out. The air that circulated the room was freezing and slowly creeping under her sweater. She shivered slightly. He didn't miss it.

"Are you cold?" he asked.

She could only manage a nod this time. Her heart was racing at such a pace that she couldn't risk overexerting herself with speech.

He reached for his wand on the carpet and without looking at the fire, sent it up in a blaze so it was dancing once more, emitting a bright glow, like the perfect Yule log. She looked at him again, seeing the dancing flame reflected in his eyes.

She grasped his arm that had returned from storing the wand back on the floor and looked at him. "Is that better?" he asked.

She nodded again; fully aware that by now he must have thought she was a def mute. She took his hands in hers and let it move to sit over her heart so he could understand what going on within her and excuse behaviour.

She wanted him to know how anxious she felt, how sickeningly fast her heart was racing. But even so it wasn't a bad anxiety, it was a good kind. The anxiety she felt was concerned with measuring the distance between reality or what was happening and what she wanted to happen all those years ago. It was one thing to imagine it but it was another thing to sit fully aware what was going to take place.

It had been about two hours since they started talking on the sofa and yet it seemed like a lifetime since the moved to the floor, every second ticked away with painstaking slowness. She wondered how long it would be before she got to feel his lips on hers again and if they both knew what they intended to do that very night why, would he deny her that simple pleasure.

She closed her eyes a little to control all the emotions she was feeling.

The only sound in the room was the sound of the clock in the room chiming to signal the start of a new hour. But it wasn't just any hour, it was a whole other year and still she was waiting for that second kiss that from experience would be even more enjoyable than the first.

He sighed. "It's officially the year 2000, what do you we do with ourselves now, Nypmhadora."

She looked at him in the eyes, still seeing the fire dancing there. She only wished that she was able to speak just then but her mind was in such shambles that it would only manage one thing at once. If she spoke she wouldn't be able to say all she wanted to say so instead she said it with her body. She took her hand that he was not holding in his reached down to his shirt that had mysteriously managed to stay in his trousers and tugged it out. She was convinced that she had done enough to make him aware of what she wanted.

He didn't replay to this by speaking either. Instead he retrieved his wand from the carpet and kissed her forehead softly. She held on to his arms to keep herself from moving to close to him.

He was more skilled at reliving them of their vestments that she could have ever imagined. He restored the wand on the carpet and for the first time that year, he kissed her on her lips. And he confirmed her theory, it was significantly more enjoyable than the first time because she knew what to expect and she wasn't caught of guard by the dept of his feelings for her.

He looked at her again and she felt herself in a spotlight, one he had cast. But she didn't shy away from it. She knew that all the walls between them had crumbled. Yet, on his face she saw that his brows were knitted in concern.

Her voice returned to her. "What's wrong?" she asked him.

"Am I wrong here?" he said, his troubles apparent in his voice. She didn't need to ask the meaning of it because she knew what he meant. "Do you want me, Severus?" she whispered.

"I don't have to confess, you know it already."

She passed her hand trough his hair, letting the balls of her fingers touch his scalp. "Then nothing is wrong. For the first time in a long time nothing is wrong everything is as it should be. You're not my teacher, there's no one else here and you're not my boss anymore, so we're fine."

That was all the confirmation he seemed to need because his free hand found the small of her back and was pulling her closer to him, closing the all the space between them. 


	10. December January

_**Disclaimer: The piece of the book is-- Tenant of Wildfell Hall by Anne Bronte. (love that book)**_

PART X: January- Muhammad.

The sunlight that was creeping through the window had little effect on the temperature of the room. The fire in the fireplace had long extinguished and the only hope Tonks had of keeping herself warm was the blankets and whatever body warmth she could get from the man next to her.

Severus laid next to her, his breathing slow and heavy as if appreciating every breath. She looked at him and bit her lips as her mind played back the events of the night before. If she wasn't afraid of disturbing him she would have giggled at the thought. Not because it was finny, but rather because it was not. What was going on between them was so dead serious that she thought that if she didn't have a laugh about it she would have crumbled from the anxiety she felt about the situation.

But she couldn't giggle just then, his eyes were still closed.

It was a night of first for them. She had never kissed him, she never let him hold her the way he did, he had never seen her body and she had certainly never seen his and though her imaginations strayed to it, he had never made love to her, but more importantly, she had never seen him asleep before. It was this that fascinated her the most. In this quiet state he seemed so vulnerable, lying there, maybe not even aware that the rest of the world was up and about or that she was looking at him with admiration.

Though she did not want to disturb him she felt a strong urge to touch him, being denied the privilege for so long. She was certain that if she just touched his hair he would be able to sleep unmolested.

She took her hands from beneath the blankets and let it hover over his hair that was shorter than she had ever seen him wear it. When she was quite sure that he was steady she let her fingers touch his raven strands parting it slightly with her fingers that must have been on the verge of freezing.

But she was hardly satisfied with this; his hair was not so much part of his person, just something growing from his head. So she moved her fingers lower still. She ran her index finger down the shape of his nose, that hook that she had come to appreciate as something only he could carry so well. Then, since she was already that far she let her fingers move down to touch his lips that were slightly parted.

She sighed because she wanted to feel his lips on hers again but that would have definitely roused him from his sleep. She took her hand and buried it under blankets once more to escape the cold, but as she did this she felt his hand grasp hers. A smirk crept on his face.

"Hey, you were awake this whole time," she exclaimed.

"Even in my sleep I can tell when someone is staring at me."

She could feel the red staining her cheeks but she fought through it. There was no need for her to feel embarrassed about anything anymore, he knew her totally, and she had nothing to hide from him, no secrets to speak of.

Knowing that he was awake she saw no problem in allowing herself to cling more closely to him for the warmth.

"Your hands are cold," he said. "Do you think we should move from here?"

"No, it's okay, let's just lay here and listen to the birds for a while."

He made a noise that could have been interpreted as laughter. "What birds, I haven't seen a bird here since November."

"So let's wait until spring."

He didn't respond he just kissed her on her forehead and pulled her closer making sure that his once free arm was wrapped tightly around her.

But they wouldn't have to wait until spring to hear the birds again. There, outside the window was a very loud and rather obnoxious barn owl tapping persistently on the glass.

"What the blood hell does that thing want?" Severus asked to no one in particular.

She looked at the owl that looked very familiar and groaned. "Oh no, I promised Molly at Christmas we'd stop by for New Years lunch as well." She read the pained expression on his face. "Sorry, can you let it in."

He let in the owl after grunting and complaining. The owl flew in excitedly and settled next to Tonks on the floor. She reached over and unattached the letter from his leg. The very moment she did this the owl flew out the window again and back into the cold. Severus shut the window the very instant.

She unfolded the letter that was short and read it aloud.

"Lunch is at twelve. Charlie is stopping by."

"Why does she feel the need to stress that Charlie is stopping by?"

The question didn't faze her. She looked over at him. "Oh, you know Molly is always trying to play matchmaker for me. I thought she had given up the idea of Charlie and I getting back together when I was with Remus but I guess not," She said shrugging.

He put his hands behind his head and looked up at her. "Are you going then?" he asked.

She smiled. "Correction, _we are going."_

"I thought you said you weren't going to drag me to anymore of these little get-together things again."

"But it will be different this time, things are so different now."

He blinked slowly. "But you can't speak to him… Charlie."

She thought it was a joke. "What?"

"Don't speak to him… or converse with him, whatever it is you want to call it."

She chuckled at this because she still thought that he was joking. "Well I can't _not_ talk to him; he's a friend of mine."

"Well maybe you should loose this particular friend."

Okay it was becoming apparent that he was serious. "Severus, what are you on about?"

He got that serious look on his face, the one he would get when he was talking to a subordinate that was particularly pesky to him. "Well it wasn't pleasing to me to see him try to… well you know fully well what I'm referring to."

Her reaction was moving pass shock and awe to anger. "So is it your business to shoot down all my potential suitors." Maybe it was her imagination but was he actually angry with her

"Ben Stonewall, you seemed to enjoy it when I fired him."

"He was an ass, I would never fancy him."

"So you admit it then," he accused. "You could fancy Charlie."

"Are you forgetting the reason why I started a relationship with him in the first place?"

"Yes, but you once forgot about the feelings you had for me and look, it's coming to haunt you." He sighed as if he thought the whole argument was beneath him. "Nymphadora, there is nothing incredibly difficult about avoiding someone."

She was not going to argue with him, she was just going to make herself plain and hope that he got the idea. She looked him square in the eye. "Severus, I _don't_ like being told what to do, surely you know that."

"Well Nymphadora, if you just do as I say then you can spare yourself the trauma of having me repeat it."

Her brows much have touched her hairline because she couldn't believe what he just said. "Oh…my…God," mouthed, looking at him like something foreign. "I can't deal with this right now," she declared tossing her hands up in the air in resignation. She tugged on one of the blankets, wrapped it around herself and got up from the place they were resting. She was going to get ready and she hoped by the time she was finished some sanity would have crept back into his brain.

-o-o-

"Oh Harry, this looks awful, what do you think happened?"

Hermione sat watching Tonks chatting up a storm with Charlie. She was looking at him and laughing at his jokes and tossing her head back to emphasize how funny she thought they were. Hermione thought the situation was odd because she always thought that Charlie was a bit insipid.

Mrs. Weasley was positively beaming and seemed to be thankful that her efforts were finally paying off. However, Severus sat in the corner in an arm chair, sipping on cider, looking at nothing and no one, being cautious that his eye should look Tonks' way. He had actually cornered Harry to have a word with him twice for the day in a pathetic attempt to look like he was not bothered by her talking to Charlie.

"They must have rowed," Harry said defeated. "Damn, just when I thought I had it covered."

-o-o-

Eight dreadful days and Eight agonising nights. That was how long it had been since things broke down between them.

She had decided to go against his wishes and do the very thing he asked her not to, and so scandalously as well. He couldn't decide who angered him more, her or Charlie. But the question only bothered him at the very moment of thier conversation because it dawned on him a day after the he couldn't stay mad at her. He wanted her too much.

She must have known because she went out of her way to deny him the very thing he wanted. In fact he didn't want much at all, if she would just consent to sit in the study with him and do the work she was hired to do then that would have been fine but if he couldn't find immediate use for her she would retire to her bedroom and not show her face until the following morning.

And when the morning came, she would sit opposite him on the table, (maybe to remind him how desirable she was) and eat in silence and not look at him even though she knew it was killing him that she would not talk to him.

But he persevered through it. He didn't think himself wrong at the time. Why should she be talking with other fellows around him, especially ones who she had sex with? No, it was too risky. Why didn't she see that?

But of course it wasn't a show of trust to demand that she limit her engagements to just him. In fact if she had requested the same thing of him he would think it was rather bold faced. But he would do it for her because he already loved her; that, combined with the fact that he didn't have much people he considered friends anyway. But she did have friends, some of them male and more handsome and younger than he ever could dream to be. And it was this that worried him the most. He felt severely inadequate, a problem that had plagued him all his life. He never felt good enough for anything or anyone. That must have been why he was always so possessive, he was afraid to loose what he did have. But she couldn't know this… he never told her. He could never tell her.

He sighed and turned in his bed and looked up at moon. He wondered if she was sleeping. He missed her... more than he ever thought it was possible to miss someone who lived under the same roof as him.

How could things get so awful after a night like that?

Why didn't she miss him as much as he missed her?

Why didn't she come to him? He always left his door slightly ajar as an invitation but she never came to him. However, if he walked by her room on a cold night he would see that her door had been shut on the inside and he would hear nothing but stillness beyond the door. She had been fine; she was sleeping fine without him. He was the only one who couldn't sleep, who felt the coldness of the separation.

And again yet another night had fallen on the manor and she still hadn't come to him. He even retired early in hopes that she would know that he was not particularly tired but instead she choose to go to the kitchens and talk Pince, a bloody grammatically challenged elf. He was frustrated.

He sat up and stared in the dark. "Well," he said, "if the mountain won't come to Muhammad, then Muhammad must go the mountain."

Yes, that was the best thing to do. But he couldn't decide how to go about doing it. He couldn't knock on her door and just tell her that he missed her. No, he had to be there for a purpose, and for five minute his trouble was finding the purpose. Alas! He remembered that he didn't pay her for December.

He quickly summoned a cheque book and made out one to her. He decided to pay her in muggle money because it would have been awkward to present her with a sack of gold after what they shared.

He set off towards to her room in the pitch black. Having wondered down this corridor so much in the past week, he knew it well. He hesitated outside the door and then knocked.

"Who is it?" she provokingly asked from behind the door.

"Severus," he said, knowing she was taking joy in him having to announce himself and therefore his defeat. Who else could it be at the door but him.

"Come in, it's not locked."

He opened the door and walked in the room. He could see that she had taken the liberty of redecorating this room too. That was fine with him as long as he was not subjected to it.

She was on the bed, leaning against the head board with a book in her hand. "Sorry to disturb your reading but I just remembered that I didn't pay you for December."

"December?" she asked.

"Yes… December only." He handed her the cheque and she looked at it.

"Muggle money. Why?"

He shrugged. "Would you like it another way?"

"No, this is fine," she said and she took the cheque and buried it in her drawer next to her. He took the opportunity when her head was turned to walk around the bed and pretend to be interested in something he was seeing outside the window. She seemed to be ignoring him and getting back to her book. He glanced at her quickly to see that she was once again engrossed in what she was reading. She laughed at something and turned the page.

"What sort of book is that, can I ask?" he said.

She nodded. "It's a muggle book."

"Is it very amusing, what is it that made you laugh?"

She looked at him in the corner of her eyes, she was trying to determine where he was going with this. "Just the situation," she said eventually.

"Read it to me…please?" He edged closer to the bed and actually took a seat while she eyed him closely. So far he had succeeded on reaching the bed; it would take an arsenal of skills to actually get to touch her.

She turned the page back and sighed but read it aloud to him.

_"Markham," said he in his usual quiet tone, "why do you quarrel with your friends, because you have been disappointed in one quarter? You have found your hopes defeated; but how am I to blame for it. I warned you beforehand, you know, but you would not—"_

He said no more; for, impelled by some fiend at my elbow, I had seized my whip by the small end, and—swift and sudden as a flash of lightening— brought the other down upon his head.

She looked at him for his reaction. However it was lost on Severus the humour of the piece so he hardly reacted at all.

"You see," she said, "Markham is being taunted by a man who he thinks is the lover of his Helen, the woman he loves. So he struck him with a horse whip. The humour that you miss is that Markham is just making a complete idiot of himself because the man is actually Helen's brother, who is just protecting his sister's interest."

No doubt the book was brought out for this very reason. "Oh," he said.

"Do you approve of me reading this, or are you going to demand that I get another book that better suits your taste."

He should have known that she was not going to let him off without a word on the incident. But he was not going to argue. He could look back now and know how wrong he had been. "No he said, I wouldn't do that."

She made umm hmm noise and turned her head back to the book. She continued reading.

"Do you want me to leave?" he said.

"You're a grown man; I would never presume I can tell you what to do."

"Then I can stay?" he asked. She was torturing him.

"If you want," she said carelessly.

She didn't look at him she continued to read her book and every now and then she would laugh at another thing that she thought was funny, probably more of Mr. Markham making a fool of himself. He slouched down a little because at that very moment he felt like a fool, sitting up in bed next to a woman who was ignoring him on purpose and still not finding the strength to move from beside her.

"Nymphadora," he whispered."

"Severus," she replied.

"The first time I noticed that James fancied Lily I was thirteen. I felt sick because I was so sure that I didn't stand a chance then. Even though I knew her longer, he was superior to me in almost every aspect." She had stopped reading and closed the book. "But she promised me that she didn't care, that she thought he was an 'arrogant toe rag' and something that belong under a shoe and not in a school. But so fickle is the human mind, one minute she is swearing her hatred for him and the next she is accepting sonnets from him and marrying the bastard."

She looked at him and bit her lips. "Do you think I am some sort of capricious lass then, haven't I always been consistent in my feelings? They may have been postponed but they were still there."

He couldn't answer that question, he didn't know her feelings completely. "You need to understand Nymphadora, that good things always seem to slip right though by hands. It's like trying to hold on to grains of sand. You hold on tightly but still it manages to escape you."

She took his hand.

The impact this had on him he couldn't show but he felt his heart beat with life renewed. He allowed himself to move closer to her, inching slowly until she was in his arms. He felt coldness within him melting away. "I can say I am sorry but it wouldn't make a difference, I am what I am. I think I have wronged you beyond what you are aware of."

"How," she asked pressing his hands to her lips.

"I am an incredibly difficult man to be with, Nymphadora. I should have warned you before we attempted to make any commitments. I won't blame you if you decide that you can't deal with a broken man like me."

She breathed heavily. "I got into this with no sanguine notions about you. I know it will be difficult but I am willing to work hard for you. All I ask is that you try your hardest then I will do my part. Of course there will be times when you will think that I am a wicked woman-- like this week, but know that I am always thinking of you."

"But the demons… I have so many and they won't leave us alone, they'll come out of the wood work one by one."

"Then we'll fight them together, Severus."

"Even when you know all?" he asked.

"Even when I know all." She repeated.

He let the words hang in the air for a while, they were consuming him, wrapping around him tightly, filling his heart with warmth, joy and magic.

**A/N: So I had to put this chapter in. It felt right since I changed the ending and all.**


	11. Feburary

PART X: February.

Tonks lay on the bed with a muggle magazine in front of her eyes. She was looking at pattern of drapes all morning, trying to find something that Severus would find acceptable.

After New Years day she is expected things to change drastically but it didn't feel like much had changed between them. He was still the same Severus, except she saw much more of him than before. They spent a lot of time together. She had managed to get him to agree to take her out. They never went places where a lot of wizards would gather, the stuck strictly to muggle London but they it was good all the same. They had been to restaurants, the movies and even went the theatre once. She could convince him to do almost anything. The only thing he drew the line at was dancing. He made it clear that he did not dance. She asked him all the time but he was just say. "I do not dance, I can't dance and I won't dance." However he did consent to watching her dance, which she did for him sometimes when she was in the mood or trying to make him laugh, she wasn't a good dancer.

The biggest change in their relationship was that he no longer paid her. She did not get a paycheque at the end of January and was happy for that. There were certain things that he was good at figuring out on his own and others she had to point him in the right direction. He knew that if he paid her it would feel like she was getting paid for sex. That would have definitely earned him a hit over the head.

She looked at him in the corner of her eyes. He was reading the morning prophet, like he usually did before he started the day. Sometimes he would read an article out loud if he thought she would find it interesting. She loved it when he read to her. It was just like they were back in the office when he would sometimes dictate a report for her to write only this time she could just lay next to him and listen. That was their usual morning routine and maybe one of the things she liked most about their relationship, that they had a morning routine. She and Remus never had one because he would always have to leave before the sun came up. She never got to lay in bed with him next to her like she did with Severus.

She smiled at the thought and let out a light giggle.

"Is there any particular reason why you are laughing?"

"No," she said looking down at her magazine.

"I didn't think so," he said not taking his eyes off the article.

She held the magazine in front of his face. "What do you think about this," she said trying to fight the urge to laugh.

He glanced quickly at it and rolled his eyes. "I am assuming that you are trying to amusing."

She had just shown him a floral window panel with pink backings. "I knew you would love that," she teased. She continued to flip through the magazine, stopping every once in a while to look at a piece of furniture that she thought would have been interesting.

"Heavens, we're in the paper again," he said.

He did not sound too enthused which meant it was most likely some report about their relationship.

"Read it," she said. She always thought it was funny the sort of things they came up with.

"_Newly weds Nymphadora Tonks and Severus Snape were seen smooching in a muggle movie theatre, which is a dark place where they show photographs that tell a story. This was just a day after we reported that their marriage may not even be legal because Nymphadora is still married to a mystery man for the past three years._

"_Tonks is a bit of a tease," says Ben Stonewall a former colleague of Nymphadora. "She had a boyfriend that died and she was with him while she was married I reckon."_

_For yesterday's exclusive interview with the wizard who performed the ceremony turn to page 15._

_For a list of all Nymphadora's former boyfriends and an interview with the woman who designed her wedding robes turn to page 16."_

She sighed. "And it would be such a stretch to imagine that the guy I was married to is the one that died."

"You see that would actually make the article partly accurate, you know they try to avoid that under all circumstances."

The prophet had been reporting since November that she and Severus were married. At Christmas it said that they were spending the holidays in his mansion in Italy. Severus had never even been to Italy.

"Does it say what we're doing Valanetine's day?"

"No, I expect that will be tomorrow's news," he said casually.

"What are we really doing exactly?" she asked.

"We're doing something?" he asked holding down the paper.

"Yes," she said playfully.

"Well I'm not really the sort to celebrate Valentine's Day," he said.

She giggled. "I know but I'm the sort. So you'll have to get me chocolates, and flowers, the whole nine yards."

He frowned and looked at her. She playfully raised her eyebrow at him. "And what do I get out of this?"

She shrugged. "Well you get nothing."

"Nothing?"

"Let me clarify; me in nothing," she said.

"Well that's hardly fair at all. I can disrobe you anytime I wish."

She whacked him with the magazine. "Not anymore," she said matter-of-factly.

"We shall see about that," he said, turning the page.

-o-o-

They received an owl that Mrs Weasley would call on them later in the day. By the time they got out of bed, it was already midday. They took a bath together in his bathroom which really looked more like a Roman bath house to her. In the night they would stay in for more than an hour but now that they were going to have company they got out and dressed after about quarter of an hour.

When the alarm sounded that indicated that someone was at the gates, it was little after four. Form the window in Severus's room, Nymphadora could see that that Ginny and Harry came along with Molly as well.

"Heavens, did she have to make it a family outing?" complained Severus as he saw the trio at the gate.

She laughed at this as it always fascinated her just how much he detested being around other people. They walked out of the room and into the living area. He took his wand and in a wave, dropped the guards on the house. Seconds later Molly, Ginny and Harry materialized in front of them.

-o-o-

"So how are things," Molly started.

"As good as they can be," she replied. Tonks, Ginny and Molly were in Tonks' old room sitting on the bed talking. Harry had requested that he speak with Severus alone and Molly managed to pull her away to a quiet spot where they could have a talk. Tonks was certain that this had to do with the prophet article.

Molly was the type to beat around the bush but Ginny was more straightforward.

"Is what the prophet saying about you and Snape true?" Ginny asked.

"Ginny," Miss Weasley scolded.

Tonks looked at her and raised her eyebrows. "It depends on what you read in the prophet."

"Well we know that you both did not spend Christmas in Italy because you were at our house but... just last week there were reports and they sounded very convincing."

"What were they saying?" she asked amusing herself.

"That you two were spotted in a muggle restaurant," Ginny said.

Tonks got the feeling that Ginny came solely for the purpose of gossip. She smiled at them. "It is true, we did eat at a restaurant."

Ginny looked revolted. "Why?"

"Well we were hungry you see."

"Ginny stop it," demanded Miss Weasley. She turned to Tonks and took Tonks' hand in hers. "The question is dear, are you and Severus in a romantic relationship?"

Tonks looked at her and signed. Ginny looked like she was dying from suspense. "Well Yes," she finally said.

Mrs Wesley streaked like she was in pain. "Tonks are you quite sure you know what you're doing. Do you know the kind of man he is?"

She looked at her firmly. "I know the kind of man her is, I know him better than you could imagine. It's not like I haven't thought this through Molly."

"But Tonks, it's Snape," Ginny said.

"I know that's how you see him but he is not that to me, he is not that way with me."

"But what could you two possibly have in common?" Mrs Weasley asked, gripping her hand. "Now Charlie is more your speed."

"I have more in common with Severus than I'll ever have with Charlie. Charlie may be my age but he is at a different stage in life that I am. Severus and I want the same thing. And besides he makes me happy and I believe I make him happy as well."

Mrs. Weasley looked like she was painfully accepting the truth. "Well if you're sure Tonks," she said releasing her hand.

"I am, very sure."

"Question," Ginny said. "What do you two do locked up in this big old house all day. And why is this bed so dusty."

He giggled. "Well to answer the first and second question; I stopped using this room a while ago."

-o-o-

"So did you hear McGonagall is retiring?" asked Harry as he sat in the chair opposite Severus in his office.

"I read something of that sort in the prophet a while ago. I hardly believe anything in there."

"Well it's true," Harry said.

Snape looked at him and drummed his fingers on his desk. "You had to leave the Burrow to tell me this."

"Oh sorry sir, I came to give you a wedding invitation."

"A wedding invitation; who's getting married?"

"Me," Harry said smiling.

"You and the Weasley girl?"

Harry nodded with a grin on his face, he took out a crisp envelope form his travelling cloak and handed it to Severus. "I made one for you and Tonks because you two are you know..." he said.

Severus narrowed his eyes looking at him. " And you had to deliver this in person, I feel honoured?" he said.

It wasn't lost on Harry that he never denied that he was with Tonks. He resisted the urge to grin at how much of a genius he was. The real reason he wanted to talk to Professor Snape was quite different though. He actually felt nervous and embarrassed about it. He cleared his throat. " I was actually hoping that...well you know that I don't get along with my aunt and uncle... and well Mr Weasley is already speaking for Ginny... so I was wondering... In fact I would be honoured if you could speak for me."

He was expecting him to say 'no', maybe even to laugh at him for suggesting it but he didn't. "I suppose I could find something to say." He replied.

Harry nodded. "Good, brilliant," he said. It was perhaps one of the most uncomfortable moments in his life. Even though he and Professor Snape always butted heads at school and Harry always thought that Snape hated him all that changed when he learned that Snape was willing to lay down his life for him. This was his way of extending the olive branch to him, his father never did it but he would complete the task. Besides he was certain that his mother would have liked it.

"I have a small job for you," Snape said quickly. "I was planning on doing it myself but I think you can if I instruct you properly.

Harry looked taken aback. "What sir," he asked.

"Understand that you cannot speak of this with anyone, not even your wife."

"Sure but what is it that you want me to do..."

-o-o-

"Harry asked me to speak for him?" Snape said undoing the covers in the bed.

She looked at him and frowned. "Speak for him how," she asked.

"At his wedding,"

"Harry is getting married?" she asked shocked.

"Well yes, I though that was the whole purpose of their visit," he said.

"Well Mrs. Weasley just wanted to ask me if we were dating." She said. "I can't believe they are getting married."

"It's remarkable how much like his father he is. They both seem to have some sort of weakness to redheads."

She laughed lightly and clapped her hands. "I'm very excited about this."

"Too excited almost, it's not like you're getting married."

She leaned over him and kissed him. "You're really charming, has anyone ever told you that?"

"Surprisingly no," he said returning the kiss. He pulled back and looked at her with a satisfied smile on his face.

"What's that look about?" she asked mischievously.

"Nothing," he said moving closer to her and wrapping his arms around her waist. "It's just that you hair just turned purple."

"What?" she asked, thinking she had misheard him.

"Your hair just turned purple."

She let out a loud scream and jumped out the bed and position herself in front of the mirror. She was almost afraid to look but she opened her eyes and saw that her hair was a deep shade of purple. She let her hands past trough he hair like she was afraid that she would find out it wasn't hers. She pulled on it; it felt real so it was he hair. She blinked thinking about green hair and she opened her eyes to see that it was green. She blinked again, thinking about blue and she opened her eyes and saw she had blue hair. Still not believing it, she blinked again, thinking of pink and opened her eyes and saw that it a bubble gum pink, much brighter than the one Molly had given her.

She turned to Severus, who was laying on the bed looking at her with a content look on his face. "I got my powers back," she said. She didn't even notice that tears of joy were running down her face.

"So you're finally happy," he asked. She walked over to him and sat on his lap. He passed his fingers through her hair playfully. She smiled at him. "Reach in that drawer and take out the box in it," he instructed her, pointing at the nightstand next to the bed. She leaned over and opened the drawer and pulled out a black long box. "Open it," he instructed again. She looked at it wondering what could have been in it. She smiled and opened it. There lying on a piece of black satin, was her wand.

"Oh my God, where did you get this?" she asked looking at him.

"You forgot it at the office when you were leaving. I wanted to be the one to give it to you when you got your powers back so I kept it."

She picked it up and wrapped it in her fingers and wrapped her arms around Severus's neck with her free hand. "I think I'm in love with you Severus," she whispered in his ear. She shocked herself when she said it but when it came out it was only then she realised how true it was.

He was silent for while, she knew he was letting it sink in. "Good," he finally said. "So we're on the same page."

She giggled at him. "Is that your way of telling me that you love me too?" she asked playfully.

He let his hands gip her waist. "Come now Nymphadora, it's been in the news for ages, did you happen to miss it."

She traced a kiss from his cheeks until she stopped at his lips. "I'd like to hear you say it."

"I love you Nymphadora," he with the words disappearing into a deep kiss.

NOTE: okay wasn't that the corniest thing ever.

I'm so sorry I took forever to get this done but I was having a block. I had to start a new story to get juices flowing again. Speaking of which. You guys should read that one. I personally think it is my best work yet, in terms of writing style anyway. The summary sucks but it is going to be good, I have it all in my head.


	12. MarchApril

PART XII: March/April - Little Nymph

Nymphadoara sat in the corner as Severus rattled off his account of what had just happened. The house had been buzzing with activity for the last three hours. It stated with his dark arts sensory alarm going off, and then everything just got crazy from there.

She had just spent over forty five agonising minutes sitting in the hidden dungeon waiting for Severus to tell her it was safe to come out. She couldn't even begin to count the times she felt on the verge of tears. She knew that there was hardly anything out there that he couldn't handle but all the same, she would have preferred to be there fighting along side him than locked away hidden like some weakling.

She looked at him with her arms folded and her brows knitted, trying to convey what was going trough her mind. He hardly glanced at her. She listened as he told the minister about him hiding her away, and then apparating outside to see who the intruder was. She listened to him describe how he was attacked by an enraged and deranged Bellatrix Lestrange form beyond the pine trees. He then described how he averted any injury and how he eventually retrieved the piece of seven that she was crazy enough to have on her person. The end resulted in Bellatrix lying in the dirt petrified.

That was the one redeeming factor about how he handled the incident. She had specifically asked him not to kill her if he did find her and he didn't. It wouldn't have been that difficult or him to.

By the time everyone left the house it was well after three in the morning and he looked tired and stressed. He closed the front door and looked at her. "Tomorrow will be a nightmare; you should get some rest while you can."

She looked at him and raised an eyebrow. "Why should I rest? I'm not really tired at all."

He seemed too tired to deal with her attitude so he just sighed and walked past her in the direction of his bedroom. She walked after him still firing words at his back. "How dare you ask me to hide away like that?"

He pushed open the door and walked in and slumped in the bed. "Didn't we have an agreement a couple of months ago that you would do just that?"

"Well that was when I was powerless. I could have helped you Severus."

He tilted his head lazily to her. "Believe it or not Nympahdora I don't really need your help in that department."

She stared at him in shock. "I know you don't need my help but if I offer it then you should have the decency to accept."

He sat up and looked at her. "Are seriously angry with me about this?"

She put her hand on hip. "Bravo Severus, you really are bright aren't you."

"Well what were the alternatives Nymphadora. Did you want me to say that you could assist me when I myself didn't know who or what was out there? What if something had happened to you?"

"What if something happened to you?" She shouted.

He stared at her in silence for a moment. "If you want me to say that I was wrong to protect you..."

"Why do you feel like you have to protect me, I'm not a child Severus."

"I'm _well_ aware of that but what sort of man would I be if I knowingly placed you in the line of danger?"

She looked at him and shook her head. "You don't get it do you. Do you think I liked sitting there wondering what was happening, if you were dead or alive."

When he remained silent she turned around and headed out the door. "I'll sleep in my room," she said walking out the door.

She walked in the old room that she used to call hers and lit some candles. She waved her wand over the bed and cleared the dust that had gathered on the sheets. When she sat on the bed she buried her head in her hands. She felt a tear running down her cheek. He had no idea how it tortured her to be worrying about him like that. Her body felt that same sickening feeling she would get whenever she was worried about Remus. It would always make her heart break to pieces again and again. She had gotten in a relationship with Severus because she was finally over Remus now it was like he was making her relive it all over again. She wondered if that was what love was about, sickening worry and unappreciated heart ache.

She wiped her tears away slowly and crossed her hands around her waist. It was weird because she didn't want to see his face but at the same time she wanted to wrap her body around him and never let go.

She sighed and pulled the sheets away and crept under it.

-o-o-

She was halfway between being asleep and awake when she felt his arms wrap around her. She felt her body wake out of the sleepiness immediately. She turned her body to face him and looked at him. "I don't know if anyone ever told you but when someone is angry with you it's generally not a good idea to come and cuddle with them."

He looked scandalized. "Cuddle, don't be silly, I DO NOT cuddle. I'm holding you, it's something completely different."

"It doesn't change the fact that I am angry with you"

"You're not angry me Nymphadora."

"Really, enlighten me," she said not making any attempt what so ever to move away form him because she liked the feel of his hands on her.

"Well, when you really think about it," he said sleepily, "you are angry because I care about you and that's hardly a good reason to be angry with someone."

"Why do you always try to simplify everything I say?"

He responded by pulling her closer. "I'm not trying to simplify what you are saying, surly you realize by now I am a smart man, I know exactly what you are saying." When she was silent he continued to speak while running his long fingers through her hair. "You didn't like not knowing if I was safe, I get that and I appreciate your concern but do you think it is my wish to loose you."

"No but it isn't my wish to loose you either," she whispered, tears running down her cheeks once more. "Besides, I don't have to die doing some heroic feat, people die doing the most natural things." 

"Please, don't speak of death so much. You may be surprised to know that in many ways I believe you are stronger than me." She couldn't begin to process the fact that Severus Snape was admitting that he had a weakness to her, admitting that she was superior to him in some way. "You have a grieving period then you heal. I wish I could say the same for myself. It took me more that twenty years to get here... I think...In fact I know If I loose you I will die... I cannot loose you because I will loose myself."

-o-o-

She was sitting up in bed reading some outrageous article about Harry and Ginny's wedding when Severus came in the room. He had been locked in his study for a few weeks after their second argument but he assured her that it was nothing to worry about she couldn't help but wonder why he was spending so much time in his study and refused her help when she offered it. He only took a break to attend Harry's wedding. When time came for his speech the guest were reduced to tears. He told stories about what a horrid child he thought Harry was and how he always broke the rules but then he added that he was surprised to learn that he was wrong and that Harry was a decent enough person. She didn't know if he intended it be humours but it certainly was, everyone was laughing so much at the times he recalled when Harry thought that he didn't know he was lying like a salesman selling flies. He was a success even if he didn't intend to be.

Nymphadora looked up at him and smiled. "You're talking a break."

He shook his head and sat on the bed. "I'm finished."

"With what," she asked with her eyes still scanning all the inaccuracies in the paper.

He took a journal sized book and held it up to her. "My book, I just finished binding it."

Her eyes opened wide and she dropped the paper she was reading and snatched it out of his hands. She felt a actual sense of joy for his accomplishment. She was genuinely surprised that he was able to finish it. He had only a few chapters at Christmas and after that they really didn't focus on work that much. She took the book in her hands and passed her palms over the cover. The book didn't have a title; it just had his name written on it. She turned the page and the other page had a dedication and it was to her. It read: To my Little Nymph. She looked at him with water coming from in her eyes. She couldn't believe that he would share his private name for her with other people. "You dedicated it to me?"

"Well yes, who else is there," he whispered. "I wrote it for you, it's a letter to you."

She turned the next page and realised that the book he handed her was not the book he was working on before. "Severus this isn't the first chapter you showed me before."

He rested his hand on her leg that was covered by the sheets. "I decided that you were right. Although I wrote this solely for your benefit and it is a gift for you, you may do with it as you please. If you want to share it, and I sincerely hope you don't, you may."

"So it's a biography?" she asked flattered that he had taken her advice to heart. There were some things about him that truly surprised her.

"Like I said, it's a letter to you, a vey long one but it has everything that you could ever want to know and some things you maybe don't want to know about me."

"Oh," she said staring down at the page, a smile coming across her face. She leaned closer to him and kissed him softly on his lips. He pulled apart and stared at her in her eyes. "Something wrong" she asked.

"Not yet," he said. She thought that was an odd sort of thing to say after giving her such a personal girt and started to wonder exactly what had been in the letter he wrote her. "I'll leave you to it," he said. "It shouldn't take more than two days to finish I suspect."

"I have a deadline."

He shrugged while getting up. "I will prefer to get your...ah...reaction in a timely fashion." He looked at her with eyes that suggested worry and walked out of the room.

-o-o-

She got to it right away. He started off by explaining what he was doing and how he came to the realisation that she had to know everything about him to truly love him. He then went on to explain about his life, he started at as far as his memory allowed him to go back, when he was three years old.

By the time she got around to when he was nine, she cried so much that she found that she had a splitting head ache. It was dark by then and she was wondering if he was coming to bed. He never did. She noticed that it must have been difficult to share his every thought and weakness with her and it would be sometime before he could face her, so she allowed him his space.

When she resumed she found that his life hadn't improved. There were some parts when things got so dark that she was actually scared. The only interlude was when he was talking about his feelings for Lily and she could understand from the way he wrote with such passion that he did truly love her.

After those moments came to a screeching end when he 'loosed her' his life went back to it black abyss of depression and self hate that plagued his life. There were some parts when he spent his years with the death eaters when it was difficult to read and she wanted to stop and she willed herself to go on. What he did was not nearly as bad as she thought it could have been but what he was forced to allow to happen is what caused her to worry. The way he described the effect it had on his soul. He compared himself to lifeless thing that had been torn to pieces and talked about how he wished for suicide but didn't have the courage to do it.

He made a lot of references to wanting to end his life but they were even more frequent after Lily died. They were times when she would read and she was certain that it hadn't been just a thought infecting his brain but something he actually attempted. His description and desire sounded so realistic. She was scared once again. When the night fell she didn't stop, she read on.

For the years following Lily, his feeling remained the same but she started to understand why he had that level of respect and devotion to Dumbledore.

There was a page worth of material about her and when she was at school but he latter admitted that she was not of consequence to him and he could hardly remembered her from those years. He then went on to say that he was thankful for this because it would have made their relationship 'weird.' That was only time she laughed. She never thought he would use that word.

When Harry came to Hogwarts his life got complicated again. He described his problems with Harry; how he had difficulty setting him apart from his father and why he felt the need to protect him because of his failure to protect his mother.

When Voldemrot returned things changed again. His life had adopted the dark tone from his previous death eater days. However he wasn't confused anymore, he was clear and focused and he knew his gaol and how it was to be achieved. Despite the dark tone it actually sounded hopeful.

She was brought back into the picture again. He talked about his initial reaction when Dumbledore told him that she was joining The Order. He said his first reaction was that she was too young. This didn't come as a surprise to her. She noted that he was convinced when Dumbledore told him about her eagerness to join.

He mixed his feeling about her with his activities with the death eaters. It surprised her to learn that he started to detect that she had feelings for Remus before she noticed she had those feelings herself. He only described being slightly disappointed in her choice. He explained that it only started to worry him when he saw that her patronus had changed. He talked about how he spent and absurd amount of time thinking about it and not coming to any conclusion as to why he cared.

He talked about how relieved he was when the war was over. How he actually felt like he was worth something for the first time in his life and how the death of Dumbledore affected him.

When the book had a couple of pages left she realised that the sun had gone down. She continued to read on.

The last few pages documented how he slowly began to realise that he had fallen in love with her. She didn't know when he actually started to have feelings for her but now that she knew it seemed like a much longer time than she initially thought.

The times he spoke about their relationship and how she made him feel felt like something from a different source. His personality had changed so drastically. It was almost like he was a new person. But he described it best. He explained that he only started to live when she was with him.

The last paragraph had the same feel as the first. He explained again why it was important for her to know all these things about him before she could truly love him. He pressed the point about him being so imperfect until the very last word of the letter. She closed to book letting everything he wrote to her sink in for the first time. She knew that he had a hard life but she never even imagined that it was that bad.

There were times when she was reading it and she found herself angry with him and then there were times when she wanted to drop the book to seek him out to wrap her arms around him and comfort him but most of the times she wanted sit and cry alone because she was afraid, sometimes of him, but mostly of their relationship. However all that melted away when they were together. She felt like she could wash away his bad memories and make everything better. There was no point in being afraid that she would make him unhappy, she knew just from the way he wrote about her that she was the only one who could make him happy.

She laid in bed thinking. She and resigned the idea of finding him as it was well into the morning by then and he would have been asleep somewhere else in the manor, she would talk to him in the morning.

-o-o-

When the morning came she put on her best pair of trousers and a bodice that hugged her in all the right places. She spent an extra ten minutes making her hair perfect. She felt like she should look special for him since she hadn't seen him in three days.

She walked out the room and into the hall and down to his study and knocked, she got no answer so she pushed the door open. It was empty. She was not in the mood to search his manor for him so she called for the Pince who apparated by her side soon after wards.

"Yes Miss Tonks?" asked the elf taking a bow.

"Pince, do you know where Severus is?" she asked.

"Dungeons miss, been there everyday."

She nodded. "Okay thank you," she said and the elf vanished once more. She walked over to the book case and pulled on the red book. Just as always the case collapsed to reveal a doorway. She remembered how unpleasant the last time she was there had been. It was more than a month ago and a lot of things had changed since then. She climbed in the hole and the case shut behind her. The entrance way was dark as usual since he neglected to put lights there as she requested. She made a count in her head trying to remember the trick step. She managed to evade it and landed on the bottom of the flight free of injury.

He looked up at her briefly and went back to looking at a cauldron that was simmering on the floor.

"So what are you up to?" she asked him sitting on the other side of the table.

"I'm making a draught of the living dead," he whispered.

His eyes hadn't met hers since the time she walked in and she couldn't help but think that he looked even more pale than usual. He must have been so worried about what she thought about the book. "I suppose you want to know what I thought of the book?" she said, with her hands on the table leaning slightly forward.

"Oh no, it's only been three agonising days," he said a little louder but still not looking at her.

"Sarcasm is not necessary," she said teasingly. She tried to catch his eyes but he refused to look at her. "Will you look at me, I look awfully pretty today?"

He took a moment to add some ingredient to the potion and then stir clockwise and anticlockwise and then he looked at her. She could tell that he was worried about her reaction.

She sat on the stool and placed her elbows on the table to prop her head up. She stared at him. "You are very scary to me."

He said nothing. His brows just began hugging each other.

"There were times when I didn't want to continue, sometimes I wanted to run and hide from you. You were a very scary man in your early twenties. It was not nice." He remained silent but bowed his head. She could tell it was hurting him to have her say those words to him but she felt like she had to be honest. "But you never did anything really... you just watched quietly. I know now why you feel you have to protect me, you can't not do anything when it comes to me." She still got no response. "I can accept that. I can also accept that you volunteered to put your life on the line to save a woman who did not love in return, that was very admirable. But there is something I can't forgive you for."

He looked up slightly, his eyes not meeting hers. "What's that?" he asked.

She looked at him and smiled softly. "That you not only did not return my affections in school but you hardly noticed me at all. There I was pining away and you were merely trying to avoid giving me remedial potions."

He looked up at her and met her eyes. He put his hand over his mouth and sighed. He sounded so relieved there. It seemed like he really believed that there was a possibility that she would just drop everything and leave him. "Is that it," he asked.

She took her hands off the table. "That's it."

"Nothing has changed?"

"Nothing has changed," she said simply. "Although I am slightly jealous that just the thought of her could make you happy." She got up from the table and walked over to where he was standing. She wrapped her arms around him and buried her head in his shoulders. "I want to make you happy Severus."

He pulled her close to him, not leaving a space between their bodies. "You already do my Nymphadora. I realised that I was happy to be around Lily but when I'm with you I'm happy with myself. Now I can give myself to you entirely. Are you happy with me?"

She reached up and kissed his neck as it was the closet thing. She felt him tremble by her touch. "I have pink hair Severus how much more do you need than that."

"Do you want to have pink hair forever?" he whispered breathlessly.

She almost laughed at the question because it sounded so silly but she realised that wasn't what he was asking. "Yes," she said taking a moment to answer.

"Then be my wife."

She stopped and pulled away and looked at him. "What?"

"Marry me and I will make you happy everyday your life."

She let the enormity of the situation sink in. There was Severus Snape, a man no one thought was capable of love asking her, a woman whose friends thought would never love again, to spend the rest of her life with him. Somehow this brought on a giggle in her throat. "Are you serious?" she asked.

He looked worried but calm at the same time. "I have a ring Nymphadora" he whispered looking at her in her eyes as if trying to determine what she was thinking.

"Can I see it," she said.

He looked slightly surprised that she asked to see it but he unwrapped his arms from around her and dug in his pants pocket and retrieved a black box. He handed it to her and she took it with trembling hands. "How is it that no one reported you in a jewellery store?"

"I asked Harry to get it" he added looking at her as she slowly opened the box.

She looked down at the crystal clear gem stone that shined up at her. Her hands reached out and pulled it form the grove that kept it in place. She looked at the white gold metal that held the jewel in place, carved so small that the eye could hardly see was the words 'Nymphadora Snape'. She took it and placed in on the finger next to her baby finger on her hand. She looked up at him and wrapped her arms around him. "The very first thing I have to do is chuck out that dragon skin couch. This is not some kind of swanky bachelor pad."

"Does this mean that you're saying yes?" he asked cautiously

"Oh heaven, Yes." She said laughing and pulling him into a tight hug. He pulled her close to him and wrapped his arms around her. They stood there holding each other for what seemed like eternity but she didn't mind. They were giggling like little children at first and somehow the complete happiness that she was actually able to describe as bliss caused tears to flow form her eyes.

They were only brought out of it by his cauldron hissing. "Severus your potion," she said laughing at the cauldron that had melted to rubbery blob and was oozing purple liquid.

"I don't need that anymore. I was prepared to put myself into a permanent dreamless sleep if you said no."

She laughed at him and kissed him on his cheek. "You really do have a flair for the dramatics you know."

**A/N: I took forever to update this story, I know and I'm sorry. So there's a Epilogue to go... he he fun. I can't wait to get a whole bunch of angry messages... he he. HINT HINT.**


	13. Epilogue

EPILOGUE: Fifteen years later.

Severus sat on the dragon skin couch and pinched his nose bridge between his thumb and index finger. He looked at the blond woman ahead of him. He was told that she was the best in England but so far he had no success with her. It was said she had a calming effect on clients and they opened up to her easily but so far he only managed to get his name out. It was impossible.

She took her glasses off her face and cleaned it with a soft cloth and looked at Severus as he leaned against the back of the couch. She placed it back on her face and adjusted it on her nose. "Now Professor, we have been at this for four months, perhaps it's time you start talking."

"Well, we have talked, haven't we?"

She sighed in frustration. "Perhaps I should make myself clearer. We need to start talking about you. It doesn't concern me that William Winchester is being kept back for a third consecutive year or if Mrs. Hospedales wrote you scolding letter because her son is dating Hera Huggins… what I want to know about is you and how you are dealing with life."

He scoffed. "I am fine, hence the reason why it confuses me to the 9th degree why these unpleasant sessions have been imposed on me."

"With all due respect Headmaster, I will have to strongly disagree with you. To the outside world you are fine, but to your son and your co-workers, you are not fine."

"Did Junior say something to you?"

"Sorry but I can't discuss that…. This is about you Severus."

She adjusted her glasses on her nose bridge and looked at him again. Severus read her countenance carefully. The last thing he wanted was for his behaviour to affect his son in anyway. He had a lifetime of horrible memories because his parents placed all their hate for each other on him; he was not going to let his emotions about Nymphadora affect him… not ever. He was Junior's father; it was his job to make his life easier, not miserable. He had already been through so much the last thing he wanted to do was to compound the situation by making him worry. He had to get through this, for his sake and for Dora's. "Okay, Miss Aralias, what is it that you want to know?"

She looked taken aback for a moment. "Are you serious?" she asked incredulously.

He rolled his eyes and shifted his position in the couch. "Do I strike you as a man who is in a position to tell jokes?"

He could see her startled pale blue eyes from behind her glasses. "Okay Professor, you can start by telling me about Nymphadora."

"What about her," he asked avoiding eye contact.

"What was she like?"

He looked out the window at the cloudy London sky and sighed. "Perfect," he whispered.

"In retrospect?"

"In everything she did, all the time, when she was here, when she's not here… she just was. I never thought there would be someone who was so….perfect."

"All the time… she never had an imperfection."

"Even her imperfections… they were perfect… perfect for helping me becoming the man I needed to be for her, perfect for helping me heal… just perfect. You asked me to tell you what she was like and when I tell you, you doubt me."

She held her hands up to calm him a bit. He knew he was always on the edge whenever someone threatened to speak ill about his wife. "I'm not questioning your memory of her; I'm just trying to get to root of the problem."

"I think we all know what the problem is." He said sarcastically.

"Tell me," she said calmly.

Severus could hear the scratching of a quill on a scroll somewhere but he didn't let it bother him. "The problem is that she's dead."

Miss Aralias adjusted her glasses again on her face. "Is that really the problem Severus?"

"Of course it is."

"Is it that she's dead… or is it that she didn't let you save her?"

His heart stopped in his chest. There was something to those statements. "And how was I to do that?" he asked. "You know how she died, do you think she would have gone for the alternative."

She shrugged. "I don't know Severus, you tell me; you're the one who was married to her. Help me to know her, tell me what you really felt about her."

He squinted his eyes. "What I really felt…I think its obvious how I felt."

"I know you loved her dearly, but tell me how you think she felt about you. Do you think she loved you as much as you loved her?"

This question was making him feel nauseous. He got up from the chair and began to look around the room for his travelling cloak. "I don't have time for this," he complained.

"Please sit," she said hastily. "Just tell me… How was your wedding night?"

He turned around to look at her. He hated people who assumed they could tell him something about himself. She thought she knew about him and Nymphadora but in reality she knew nothing. "What you just asked me sealed the fact that you are a grossly over paid fraud."

"It's a simple question."

"No, it's a ridiculous insinuation."

"Then answer it."

He slammed his body back on the firm couch. "It was perfect."

"Good," she said sitting up. "What else… tell me what happened?"

_Flashback_

They laid side by side on the large bed, looking at each other. Nymphadora was still in her white dress and he still in his black tuxedo. She looked at him and giggled a bit, covering her face. "I can't believe we're married."

He was thinking that same thing. He couldn't begin to process the events that led to this. Four years before, he had been convinced that he would never find happiness in anything, that his life was destined to be spent alone and miserable. Yet, here he was, with a beautiful woman next to him; his wife… there were no 'if's, ands, 'but's or 'maybe's… she was his. There was no James Potter in the picture. It was just him and his wife. He had been wondering how on earth he'd become so lucky. Seeing her, looking like a perfect portrait and knowing that it was all for him….

She reached her soft hands to the side of his neck and rested two fingers. "That's odd," she said.

"What?" he asked, slightly afraid that something was going to go wrong.

"You have a pulse," she said.

He was certain that he was missing something. "What?" he asked again.

She shrugged. "I was convinced that you would have died an hour ago, and yet you're still living."

"What?" he asked again feeling like a broken record.

"Well the way you used to act. I was convinced that you would have drop dead if you danced. Yet you danced two dances and you're still alive."

He sighed. "Not well, I might add."

She laughed. "Modest aren't we. Severus you have been holding out on me. Now that I know you can, you'll have to dance with me at least once a week."

"Once a week," he said in alarm. "Why on earth would I want to do that?"

She sat up and looked down at him. She smiled and ran her fingers playfully through his black hair. "Because you will be rewarded _handsomely_. It took every bit to restraint not to pull you aside today and find some corner where we could be alone."

He smirked in amusement. "In that case I'm afraid I'll need some sort of bonus for those two dances that were rather hard on machismo and overall image."

_End Flashback_

-o-o-

Severus sat at his desk with his quill on the paper. He had been trying for some time to write a letter to Mrs. Hospedales, telling her that he does not interfere with the relationships his students choose to have, unless it is his own son. However, he couldn't concentrate. For the rest of the day he had been thinking about his session with Ms. Aralias. Something she said stuck out with him. He couldn't get over that fact that she mentioned something about his son. For along time he took comfort in pretending that the situation was not affecting his son, but he couldn't do that any longer. It wasn't helpful to anyone involved. He had to face the fact that his behaviour was dysfunctional and even though Junior was ten, he was smart enough to know exactly what was going on.

Severus sighed in resignation and rolled up the parchment. He knew he would not be able to get any work done for the rest of the night.

Instead he slipped on a robe over his nightshirt and made his way to the door of his office. He hoped that by the time he woke up the following morning, he would have a clearer idea of how to tackle the situation.

Even though he was the headmaster and his sleeping quarters were separate from the others, he never liked it much there. Something of the room reminded him too much of its former occupants and he never took to it. It felt like the ghost of Albus Dumbledore was wondering the room all the time. Nymphadora always tried to convince him to move out of the dungeons but that was one battle she could never win. He just couldn't face the room where a man he killed once lived. Of course he was asked to kill him, but it always hurt him deeply that Dumbledore had put him in that position. It was a painfully difficult decision to make, but in the end it had to be made. In the end, he had to show the ultimate amount of strength and courage to do something that he didn't want to do for the greater good. He hoped that he would never be faced with such a dilemma again.

-o-o-

"So Professor tell me about your relationship, after the marriage."

"It was perfect."

Miss Aralias looked sternly at him. "Now you seem to have one word for everything… try another."

He rolled his eyes. "Flawless."

She let out a heavy sigh and took off her glasses. "Tell me… did you two ever argue?"

He pressed his lips together in concentration. "All the time," he said plainly.

She held up both hands. "That's what I'm talking about. How can that be interpreted as perfect?"

He sneered. "The fighting wasn't perfect but we made up perfectly afterwards, which I think was the reason for the fighting in the first place."

"You fought to make up?" she asked quizzically.

"Well making up was always… extremely rewarding."

She put the glasses back on the face and let it hang off her nose slightly. She looked at him with her piecing blue eyes from beyond the specs. "What was the longest fight you had?"

He searched his memory. "A year or so…"

"A Year?" she asked in interest.

"It was an ongoing thing, we took a while to work it out but we did in the end."

"What was it about?"

"Work," he said calmly.

She sat up excitedly, thinking that she got something. "Whose work?"

"Hers."

"Why?" he asked pressingly.

He shrugged. "I didn't want her do it."

"Why?"

"It was too dangerous. Do you think a man likes the idea of his wife lying petrified in some dark alley?"

"And what did she say… Tell me about this argument, how did it start?"

_Flashback_

Severus laid awake watching the second hand tick away slowly. Sometimes he thought that she had deceived him. Something he thought that she purposely convinced him to take the offer to be headmaster so he wouldn't be her boss anymore. She must have known that if she was working for him, he would never have let her out. He would never have her on duty this hour of the night, hunting down some crazed dark wizard, in the name of society or whatever it was she believed she was fighting for. It was just wasn't worth it. The world was full of chaos out there, and a young Auror was a desirable target. Everyone who wanted to make some sort of a point would target her. Didn't she know how dangerous it was to be the wife of the Headmaster of Hogwarts and the man who helped Harry Potter take down Voldemort? She had a big red target on her back.

Most of the times, he was sick with worry about her. He could only sleep if he knew she was safe and sound, next to him, where he could protect her. He had entertained the idea of quitting the school and going back to the Auror office but she was strongly against it. She thought he was being unreasonable and assured him that she would be fine. This was hardly a comfort to him. Every time he heard about some incident that befell one of her colleagues he would always ponder on how easily it could have been her. The only comfort he had was the fact that she was in the same team with Harry, who seemed to be blessed with some sort of divine protection. Nothing could harm him and with any luck, some of that protection was probably passed on to her. But all the same… he wanted his wife home.

He was just about to throw a fit and head down to the Auror office himself when he heard the fireplace in his room start up. He decided to pretend he was asleep since she was always highly offended by the idea that he couldn't sleep because he was so worried. When she came through the fire place, he gave himself the countenance of a man who had just been disturbed from a rather peaceful slumber.

He sat up slowly. "Oh, are you home then."

She sighed a bit and smiled. "Sorry I woke you."

She walked over to him and gave him a quick peck on his lips. Instead of letting her escape he held on to her hands. "How was work today? Did anything interesting happen?"

She smiled again. "Only this complete wanker was hurling poison stingers at us when we raided his resurrection ritual."

"Resurrection ritual, what the hell is that?"

She shrugged, "No idea, but we got word of some disturbing activities in a graveyard upsetting the Muggles. We were a bit starved for work so we decided to check it out. So we Apparated there, then the next thing we knew, he was hurling these pointy little stingers at us. One got me on my neck," she said animatedly, showing where, "and I started to feel a bit woozy, but Harry, gods bless him, always walks with bezoars and things like that in a little sack."

"So you were poisoned?" he asked, trying to keep his calm.

"I think so," she said calmly. "Kind of cool when you think about it."

"I'm sorry; I missed the part that was 'cool'"

She sat on the bed now, sensing it would be a rather long conversation. "Well I was a bit worried at first but its funny how things always work out in the end."

He took her hand and pressed it between his. "Aren't you tired of it?"

"Of what?"

"Work,"

She shook her head and laughed lightly. "Not really; it's exciting to me."

He looked down at their hands together; his thumb was rubbing the back of her hand slightly. "It's not to me." he whispered.

"I'm sorry you feel that way, you just have to learn to trust me and my abilities."

"I do trust you; I just thought you'd be over this phase by now."

"Phase," she repeated. "Wanting to help people is not a phase Severus."

"I know it isn't. But there are other ways you can help people…. less dangerous ways."

She laughed. "I'm sure you have it all worked out."

He sat up. "In fact I do… Slughorn, I suspect will want to retire any day now, and I'll be in need of a Potions teacher."

"You think I should teach," she said laughing.

"You'd be good at it. Besides, there's no need to worry about it."

"I'm not worried about if I'd be good or not…. But me… teach? It's a bit boring for me."

"Boring… maybe you need too much excitement… its not all what it's cracked up to be. Trust me… sometimes life calls for a little boredom."

"So I'm just supposed to take your experiences and consider them my own?"

He shook his head, knowing that he was upsetting her. "No I just think you might be limiting the idea of what it could be like."

"You mean it would be something other than boring?" she asked.

"Well we could have a baby, that wouldn't be boring."

Her eyes opened wide and she pulled back from him. He didn't blame her; he too was surprised that those words had left his mouth. He never ever for one second prior to that considered having children. The idea seemed terrifying to her. "A baby, is that what you want?"

"Maybe," he said.

"Maybe it's not so much that you want one but just that you want to keep me here all day where you can keep an eye on me."

"No," he said. "I have been thinking about it lately… and I am clearly not getting any younger…I'm forty four years old." He was telling a massive lie, of course, but he had to tell her something.

"And I'm twenty nine," she whispered.

He raised his brow.

"I'm not ready to have children," she said looking down at his hands. "In fact I'm not sure I want children."

For the moment they sat quietly thinking about the fact that their age difference was actually affecting them for the first time. When they got married they made no illusions on how difficult it was going to be. This was not a problem they foresaw. Of course Severus never wanted to have children before until that very moment.

_End Flashback_

-o-o-

"Dad… can I ask you question?" Junior asked cautiously.

Severus looked at his son, who was remarkably similar to himself, except for the fact that his hair was blond. It was odd because he was not a metamorphous like his mother, yet his hair was a shade of platinum blond that neither of them had. Nymphadora used to tease Severus and say that she had somehow managed to make his and Narcissa's child. But even though Severus Augustus Snape Jr. did not look like a child he and Nymphadora would produce, he did inherit all her moods and animations.

He took the stack of opened envelops from him and began to sign each one in his own signature. "Of course," he said.

"Do you hate her?" he whispered.

Severus stopped writing in the middle of his name. "Who?" he asked his son. Junior looked remarkably uncomfortable with the question. 

"Dora," he whispered, not looking at him.

His heart stopped for a moment when he heard the name escape from the child's lips. "No, I don't ever want you think that?"

"It's just that you won't see her… and she's so big now dad… and she can do all sorts of tricks, she changes her face to match who ever she sees…." The boy stopped mid-sentence.

Severus rested his quill down and looked at his son. "Soon, I'll see her soon."

-o-o-

"Why is this taking long?" Severus asked Ms. Aralias the following day.

"I'm going at your pace not mine Professor."

Severus sucked his teeth and looked out the window. For a moment he could only hear the sound of her voice asking him another question totally irrelevant to fact that he could not stand the thought of looking at or holding his own daughter.

"So tell me about your first child… how soon into the marriage did Severus come along."

"Five years," he said flatly.

"Where you happy," asked him.

He turned his attention away from the window and London and back to her. "Very."

_Flashback_

"Severus, I've been thinking for a while and I realised you were right," Nymphadora said while she was looking at her reflection in the mirror.

"About what?" he asked although the idea that she admitted he was right about something was quite intriguing to him.

"That perhaps my work is too dangerous," she said, looking at him in the mirror and not his actual self.

He smirked a little, although he didn't quite understand where this sudden change in perspectives was coming from. "What are you saying," he asked cautiously.

She turned away from her reflection and got up from the chair and walked over to him. "You know how I've been coming home early lately?" He nodded. She sat on the desk where he was answering his letters. He pointed out the obvious fact that she was sitting on his work that included some important letters and she just laughed slighty. 

"What's gotten into you," he asked eyeing her suspiciously. "You have been fighting me on this all year and now suddenly I'm right?"

She nodded. "At first I just thought I could work in house for a bit…"

"You're being housed, why?"

"So I can come home earlier, isn't that what you want?"

He nodded, trying to pull a letter from the governors from under her bum.

"But it turns out that I can't stand the place and it's making me nauseous and my doctor thinks that I should take it slow for a while."

"Wait… are you ill?" he said, finally giving up on getting any work done, since she was so determined to distract him.

She shrugged. "Not ill, just pregnant."

He leaned against the rest of the chair and looked up at her. "You're lying," he said calmly.

She shook her head. "Three months pregnant."

He laughed at the idea. "I think I would know if you were pregnant."

"How, have you ever been around a pregnant woman before?" she asked him matter-of-factly.

He shook his head. "No. But anyone can tell if a woman is pregnant or not, and you certainly don't look the part."

"I'm three months along."

"So if you're pregnant, why didn't you tell me before, like three months ago?"

She bit her lip. "I know I've been saying for a really long time that I didn't want to have children… but the truth is I didn't think I could… not after what Greyback did anyway… I didn't know how to tell you, I thought you would have been so disappointed so I just got defensive."

For the first time since the conversations started he actually believed what she was saying. "Are you serious?" he asked, feeling his heart beating out of his chest.

She nodded. "I didn't want to tell you straight away in case something happened, but it's been three months and I am fine, mostly… and I think it will be fine. I think we'll have a baby Severus."

His hand involuntarily went over his mouth as he pushed his chair backwards. He stood up so he was levelled with her. "You're pregnant?" he asked again just to make sure he had heard her correctly.

She nodded. "Are you happy?" she asked him in a whisper.

He nodded. "Very," was all he managed to say before he showered her   
with kisses.

_End Flashback_

"And how did you feel when Severus was born?"

"Scared," he said quickly.

"What were you scared of?" Ms Aralias asked concerned.

"Of many things," he said nonchalantly. "That someone would take him away from me, that I would be like my father, that I would disappoint him, that I would drop him… anything that there was to be afraid off, I was afraid of it."

She nodded, and the sound of her hidden quill could be heard scratching away. "Professor you're doing very well today, you have been very open."

He shrugged. "Well I want this done, quickly."

"There is no set time for healing… it could take months or years."

He looked at her with his eyes wide open. "I can't take that long. I must be able to see her soon."

"So why don't you just see her?" she asked. He could tell that she was eager for the answer.

"I just… can't," he said in defeat. "And my son thinks I hate her because Nymphadora died having her… but I don't… I don't know what I think about it."

"Are you jealous?" Ms Aralias asked.

"Of whom?" he asked.

"You're daughter, Dora," she asked cautiously.

His brows became knitted. "Why on earth would I be jealous of my own daughter who is just a baby?"

"Well that goes back to your relationship with her mother. Do you think that her mother didn't love you enough to choose to live with you over choosing to have the baby that put her life in danger?"

He sat quietly because what she was saying was scaring him. He shook his head slightly, even though he hadn't yet convinced himself that that wasn't the case.

Ms. Aralias took off the glasses and cleaned it piece of soft fabric and then placed it back on her face. She cleared her throat and looked at him sternly.

"Severus," she said, using his first name for the first time since they met. "Have you ever considered the possibility that your wife didn't tell she was having problems with the pregnancy so you wouldn't have to make a choice… so you wouldn't have to choose between her and your child?"

He looked up at her with his brows still knitted.

"You said she knows you better than anyone has ever known you… do you think you would have liked to know?"

He thought hard about it. He thought about how the decision of having to kill Dumbledore affected him. He thought about being presented with the problem of having to choose between his wife and his unborn child. He knew he would have chosen Nymphadora because he could never imagine life without her but he also knew that he would never be able to live with the knowledge that they had to destroy a part of themselves… someone that they had both been looking forward to, be together. The truth was his wife did know him… remarkably well. She made a decision that he would not have been able to make or live with either way.

"I want you to think about that for a while Severus… when I meet you next week, we'll talk about it."

-o-o-

Severus laid awake in bed for the third night in row. What Ms Aralias said had been eating away at him. The more he thought about it the more he realised there was some truth to it, some truth to everything she said. There was so much going on in his mind that he would never be able to tell a soul, not even his therapist. She had already figured out so much about him but there was still so much that he didn't want her to know.

How could he tell her that he blamed himself for Nymphadora's death? He had spend so much time worrying about her work that he thought never entered his mind that she could die doing something so natural. He believed he should have foreseen it, found a way to fix it.

How could he tell anyone that he missed his wife more and more everyday and instead of the pain getting easier, it got progressively worse? He didn't want to seem weak… but the truth is, he was… he always told Nymphadora that. She never believed him. She would always say that he was stronger than he believed. Looking back on it, it seemed like she was preparing him for her death all along.

He hated death… he hated that you could be given something so perfect then have it taken away. It was not fair. He hated having to feel pain like this. He hated all things associated with pain. And that was perhaps the reason why he couldn't stand to see Dora. He knew it would be too painful to look at her. Everyone kept telling him that she looked so much like her mother, like that was supposed to be some comfort to him, like he really needed to be reminded that he lost his wife everyday of his life. He would have much preferred if she looked like Junior, nothing like his mother, but like him and some distant relative. It would have been easier to deal with.

But all the same, sometimes he would look at his son eyes and try to find a trace of her in them. Every time he would find that he would be so disappointed that he couldn't find it. Part of him longed to see her eyes again, so he could remember that he had a wife… so he could remember the good moments.

Sometimes he thought about that and it kept him up… much like that night.

He had been toying with the idea of going to seventh floor again, to the room next to the hospital wing, to catch a glimpse of his child whole week but he could never do it. But that night some force propelled him to rise from his bed and head there that every moment.

-o-

The door was left slightly ajar. He hovered around outside for a moment before he pushed it forward. He walked in the room slowly. The room was furnished exactly like Junior's had been when Nymphadora was alive. The identical large crib in the side the room, the chair close to the window, the cupboard with all the little baby clothes and toys and little bath they used to bath they used. It was exactly the same, only difference was it was not next to their room in the dungeons like that had been. He had to have everything moved away from him. He wanted the child far away from him but not too far, so she was kept in the castle.

The only person in the room was Mrs. Packard, who was a widow who'd never managed to have kids of her own. She loved taking care of children and acted as a babysitter for Junior when he and Nymphadora could too busy with school duties. He had come to trust her and knew that she would take excellent care of his daughter. He wasn't surprised to see that she had fallen asleep on the chair, looking out the window, next to the crib.

He walked up the crib slowly, careful not to make any noise. He found that he had his eyes closed while he held on the frame of the crib. His heart was beating so wildly as it dawned on him that it would be the first time he was seeing his daughter since the day she was born. He was comforted by the fact that she was asleep he wouldn't have to look at her eyes.

He opened his eyes slowly and looked down at the sleeping child, who in fact was not sleeping at all. In fact the child with jet black hair and a nose that was beginning to look oddly hooked was looking up at him with her eyes wide open. For the first time in six months he saw his wife's eyes. They were light brown and shinning with excitement. For a moment he stood over and looked at her in amazement. It was like staring at himself with Nymphadora's eyes. She was not so much reminding him of what he lost… in fact she was the perfect representation of their relationship… the perfect result of their love; a little child with his face and her eyes. Then before he had time to appreciate her eyes, he found that they were in fact getting darker and darker until they were so dark he was convinced he was looking at his own. He was almost alarmed but quickly remembered that Junior said she started to mimic people's faces, she must have been mimicking his.

She looked up at him with bright eyes and began to wiggle her little arms and legs in joy and giggled. She was looking at him with recognition in her eyes. It was like she knew he was her father. Severus was so moved by this that even though he was afraid he thought that it would actually be okay to pick her up; it was his child after all. He reached out took his the little child in the blanket, who fit so snugly in his hands (she was still such a tiny child for six months), and held her in his arms, he looked down at her in amazement. A lump began to threaten his throat as he looked down at the little version of himself who was staring at him in fascination. "Hello Dora," he whispered to her. "I haven't seen you in a while." Her hand reached up to him, to pull on a loose piece of fabric on his night robe. "What do you say you come and live with me and your big brother tomorrow?" She clearly didn't understand what he was saying but she seemed to like it all the same. She continually giggled at the sound of his voice whispering to her. "I think that means yes," he said.

"She likes you already."

The sound of the voice in the room startled him and turned around quickly to find that Mrs Packhard was up and looking at him closely. "Have you been up all this time," he asked in whisper.

"Don't worry, I won't interrupt your moment, I'll just gave you two some time alone."

She got up from the chair slowly and began to make her way across the room.

"Mrs. Packhard," he called out to her. She turned around. "How is it that she seems…"

"To know you?" she asked. He nodded. "Look at the chimes." He turned his head to the crib and his eyes landed on the chimes that were dancing in a swinging motion, moving in and out of each other. Someone had stuck Chocolate Frogs cards on all the little figurines of dragons and unicorns and hippogriffs. When he looked closely, he realised all the cards had his face on it. He looked at it in astonishment and then looked back at Mrs. Packhard. "Thank you," he said softly.

"Oh don't thank me, Junior did that."

Severus turned away and looked at the chimes again, seeing his picture move in and out with the melody of the song it played. The lump that was in his throat earlier gave way and his felt a single tear running down his cheeks.

He looked down at his child once more and into the darkness of his own eyes then, as quickly as her eyes changed before her face began to change again. Her hair turned a dull shade of brown; her eyes the shade of light brown he had seen before and her nose like a cute little button. He had seen it; she did look remarkably like her mother. It didn't scare him like he thought it would. He found that it wasn't a scary thing to remember the person who could make him happy. He had no reason to be afraid of not being happy anymore. He had two perfect children who would be happy and make him happy for the rest of his life.

THE END

**A/N: And so it ends... I hope I made you cry, it's my greatest joy. So since this is the last chapter and all, why don't you guys be super kind and leave me a review. Tell me what you thought of the end. Do you hate it, Do you love it. Tell me. I swear I won't hold it against you if you didn't like it. ******

**So thanks once again******

**Until my next story... BYE.**


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